


A Scientific Conundrum

by BML1997



Series: A Scientific Romance [2]
Category: Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: M/M, watch the nerd dorks discover relationships are hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 40,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23472931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BML1997/pseuds/BML1997
Summary: Sequel to A Scientific Match. Kowalski and Francis now find themselves in the situation of figuring out the conundrum that is their newly established relationship and all its ups and downs. Join them as they face new challenges such as Blowhole's family, other enemies, and whatever chaotic situation they manage to get themselves into. A Kowalski x Blowhole (Franski) fic. (Other minor focus ships may appear later).
Relationships: Dr. Blowhole/Kowalski (Madagascar), Franski, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: A Scientific Romance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688656
Comments: 19
Kudos: 51





	1. An Unexpected Visit

_**Chapter 1: An Unexpected** _ **_Visit_ **

After the whole Blue Hen nonsense was done with, it was only natural, now that Kowalski had Skipper's semi-approval, that he would want to go visit their unexpected helper. It certainly was a change of pace actually having Skipper's permission to use the coup to go visit Francis during daylight hours instead of sneaking around after dark.

Kowalski pulled up in the same parking-bush he has for every other time he has driven to the lair and hopped out. He knew this time Francis wasn't expecting him, but hopefully he wouldn't have an issue with him dropping by. He wasn't planning to stay long anyhow-unless he wanted to just hang out for a few hours, of course.

He slid over to the door and knocked. He glanced at the hidden lever he had once tried before. Tempting, but he didn't want to enter hanging from the ceiling again. Who knows, this time there could be added lasers since he wasn't expected. No, no he'd be patient.

Sure enough, a few minutes later Red One opened the door. "Doc's going to be a few minutes, but he said you can come in."

"Alright." He nodded, following the lobster inside. "So...What happened to the lobsters working with Blue, do you know?" He glanced down at him.

"The traitors? Oh yeah. They don't work here anymore."

Kowalski paused for a moment. "As in…?"

"Probably not really my place to say, Kowalski."

"Right...Sorry." He grimaced slightly, but then shook it away. He couldn't say he really was surprised to consider that Blowhole would actually boil his traitorous minions, he was, after all, a murderous villain. A dolphin unafraid of drowning the world wouldn't bat an eye at boiling a couple problematic lobsters. And yet…

Kowalski shook his head again. He needed to focus. He came here on a mission, to deliver a message. First the mission, then he'll see what they do. Maybe Francis didn't boil the lobsters, after all. Perhaps he just fired them-He sighed and rubbed his flipper over his face.

Red One led him to the lab and motioned inside. "I'll tell the doc you're in his lab."

"Thanks." He nodded to him again and waddled into the room. A content smile arose on his face as he glanced around. The lab was still just as sexy as it was a couple weeks ago, when he'd last been in there and they had been planning their Halloween date.

"Enjoying the view?"

Kowalski jumped and sharply inhaled, before turning and seeing Francis leaning down by him. He took another deep breath, smiling slightly. "Cod, you really know how to give a guy a heart attack."

"What's that thing Skipper always says? Expect the unexpected?" He chuckled, rolling further into the room.

He rolled his eyes, chuckling. "You've got me there."

"So...Why are you here?"

"Right." Kowalski nodded and cleared his throat. "A few things, but it'll be quick. I understand I just dropped in on your no doubt busy schedule-"

Blowhole motioned for him to get to the point.

"-I wanted to personally thank you for helping us yesterday." He smiled a little sheepishly. "I...I know Blue had stolen your invention and your lobsters, but...I, I really didn't expect you to come yourself, nor stop her from diabologizing us." He paused. "Because it really would seem like a win-win for you both had she diabologized us."

"Ah, you see that's where you're wrong." He motioned for Kowalski to take a seat at the computer, and he does. "I have dibs on you four. If anyone is going to do anything to the four of you, it's going to be me. It's my right as the arch-enemy and the top villain in the area. What's the point of taking over the world if someone else has diabologized your enemies and you yourself can't rub it in their faces because someone else mutated you. Takes all the fun out of it."

Kowalski tilted his head. "So...You still have plans to diabologize the four of us?"

"Eh, maybe." He shrugged. "But if I did, it wouldn't be anything personal, just business."

"...Right…" He slowly nodded and what Blue had said to him before came back to mind. "I thought before you said with loyalty bonding you couldn't do anything to me if you wanted to?"

Blowhole looked down at him. "...That is true." He studied him for a long moment. "Something's on your mind. Go on, out with it."

Kowalski looked up and then away with a sigh. "I'm just...Blue said some things...And...And I just want to make sure I'm not just some pawn to be used." He pulled on the feathers of his upper flipper.

"Well, let's consider the facts. One the one fin, is a manipulative chicken who wants you for herself, on the other fin is your dolphin boyfriend who already came clean to you about the one plan he had in mind where you would have been a pawn, but no longer could continue because he had bonded to you. Which sounds more trustworthy?"

"The dolphin boyfriend." He smiled slightly.

"Exactly. Trust me."

"Hard to do when you just said you would diabologize me if the plans called for it."

Blowhole looked at him. "I'm sorry, did you come here just to try to start a fight?"

"No...That part just resonated." He sighed. "I'm sorry, I want to trust you. Trust is just...It's hard."

"...And it's a two way street." He also sighed, nodding. "I suppose if I am honest, it will depend on our relationship should the occasion arise whether you would befall the same fate as the rest of your team."

"Thank you." Kowalski smiled a little. "Though while we're on the subject of trust-"

"Ugh, what now?"

"Skipper wants to know if you're available tomorrow night for the three of us to meet and discuss us."

"Sure, you two can come here-"

"-No. He wants to meet in a neutral location."

"And where is that?"

"Central Park picnic bench at midnight."

Blowhole considered this, then nodded. "I'll be there."

"Thank you." He looked at the clock and sighed. "I guess I should be going then. I've interrupted you long enough."

"Why? Is there something else you need to go do?"

"No...Just figured I was rude enough to drop by unexpected, and then this-" He motioned vaguely with a sigh. "-did not go as planned."

Blowhole nodded slowly and sighed. "Admittedly, you did not show up at the best time...But I don't have anything planned for the next couple of hours. Maybe while you're here we should do a little date planning, hmm?"

Kowalski perked up and nodded enthusiastically. "Sure!"

He turned and turned on the desktop computer, making sure to lean out of Kowalski's way of seeing the screen. "Tell me if you need the text enlarged."

"...Could you? Just a little."

Blowhole nodded, glancing over at him. "Have you had your vision checked?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, when the doctor has you read letters off the wall and a card?"

"Vets don't really test that, Francis." He gave him a strange look. "What letter would he hear us say? Squawk?"

"True, I suppose a human doing your medical check ups is pretty useless."

"I fail to see what this has to do with planning our next date."

"Oh nothing, I was merely curious."

Kowalski squinted at him, but decided to let it go. He looked at the computer again. "Soooo...What sort of date should we do for November?"

"Well, I'm busy on Thanksgiving, but your birthday is this month, isn't it?"

"It is, but we don't have to do anything for that."

"Mmmm, we'll see." He tapped his fin on his rostrum. "What about going by the karaoke bar again in a few weeks? This time we could more seriously get to know each other, and not for ulterior motives."

"I'd like that." He smiled and leaned his head against him.

Blowhole looked down and patted his head. "You're a dork, Mittens, I hope you realize that."

Kowalski smiled dorkishly as his feathers rustled slightly. "I know."

"Now, you should probably get back to Skipper and the others before he thinks I've tried to kidnap you or something."

"...But now I don't want to leave."

Blowhole sighed, shaking his head. "Well, if that's the case...Maybe we should start designing you a new ride. That is, assuming Skipper is probably not wanting you to constantly be out with his car?"

"That is a very accurate assumption." He smiled. "Let's do it."


	2. The Dating Commandments

_**Chapter 2: The Dating Commandments** _

The following night, two penguins and an otter sat waiting at a picnic bench in Central Park. Kowalski kept nervously checking his phone. Midnight had already come and passed. It was approaching thirty minutes after the decided upon time.

"That's it. I'm done waiting." Skipper shook his head, standing up on the bench seat. "He's obviously not coming."

"Just a little longer, sir, please." He looked at him with the most doleful expression. "He...He's coming. He said he would."

Marlene patted Kowalski's back with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Kowalski...But I think he's standing you u-"

"HOLD THE PRESSES! I'M HERE!"

The three turned and looked behind them as Blowhole rolled up the hill. Skipper narrowed his eyes at him instantly.

"What the cod, Blowhole? Do you not know that midnight means midnight on the dot?" He growled.

"Look. Something came up and I left a little late. Did you want me to blast away the traffic?" He crossed his fins with a look.

Kowalski looked both relieved, but also a little frustrated as well. "You could have texted…"

"Didn't think about it." He rolled his eye, rolling over to the table. "So anyway, we're having a meeting, right? Let's get to that."

Skipper glared at him again before hopping up onto the table. "It's no unknown fact that I do not approve or like this _thing_ going on between you and my lieutenant. However…" He glanced at Kowalski and sighed. "It has come to my attention that Kowalski is capable of making his own decisions and maybe should be trusted not to tell you anything that'll get us all killed."

Kowalski sat up slightly, looking at Skipper.

"But I still don't trust you, Blowhole. So if you're dating Kowalski, you're getting a list of rules to abide by or I'll revoke this dating privilege he thinks you deserve."

Blowhole raised a brow. "You trust him, but you're putting rules on us. Doesn't sound like you really trust him at all."

Skipper pointed his flipper at the dolphin. "Either you agree to follow these rules, or you can leave now and don't even think about approaching my lieutenant again."

"In all fairness, he approached me first."

"Francis."

Blowhole glanced at Kowalski and sighed. "Alright, fine. Let's hear the rules."

Skipper looked over at Marlene. "You ready to write this down?"

Marlene raised a brow. "Uh no? I don't write. I'm just here to make sure the rules sound fair and you aren't being over paranoid."

"Right…" He sighed and looked at Kowalski. "Ready?"

Kowalski nodded, already with his clipboard out and his flipper poised with pencil. "Ready, sir."

Skipper started pacing down the table as he thought. "Rule 1. No using Kowalski in any part towards your evil schemes. Be it inventions, planning, or manipulation."

"Wasn't planning to do that anyway, but fair." The dolphin nodded.

"Rule 2. No getting Kowalski arrested or in any law trouble."

"Oh come on. Just one little smudge on his record?"

"You already smudged his record. He got an official demerit because of you and I had asked for his resignation. You've got enough dirt on his record."

Blowhole merely rolled his eye and motioned for Skipper to get on with his list.

"Rule 3. No date shall interfere with missions. He can see you on weekends, but if we have a mission, even if spontaneous, he has to be present at the mission. I don't care if it's with last second notice. Kowalski must also alert me when he's leaving and has returned."

"Mkay, next?"

"Rule 4. No sensitive intel exchange; be it mission related, classified intel, or anything about me. Anything about me is considered classified information."

Blowhole gave him a look. "Oh as if I don't already know everything I need to know about you, Skipper. Let the boy have a loophole to vent if he needs to."

Skipper glared at him before looking at Kowalski. "Kowalski may use his discretion. I'm trusting you. Don't you let me down again."

Kowalski looked up and smiled sheepishly. "I'll be extremely discreet, sir. Thank you."

"Rule 5. No harm shall befall Kowalski. I couldn't care less about the condition you wind up in, Blowhole, but whatever you two do, he better stay in pristine condition."

"Give me a little credit. Why would I allow him to be injured if it is something within my frame of control?"

Skipper crossed his flippers with a look. "How about the kidnapped and pummeled cover up on Halloween?"

Kowalski furrowed his brows. "But...You said you didn't believe that."

"You seriously thought I found your lie that you went ghost hunting on your own and rolled down a hill more convincing? There ain't no way in halibut you'd ghost hunt alone. I would have heard you screaming from the zoo." He rolled his eye and looked at Francis. "So no more pummel the lieutenant ideas, comprende?"

"Fine, whatever."

"Rule 6. No invention theft. I don't care if he left blueprints or full on inventions there and you cleaned it up with your stuff. His ideas belong to him and therefore belong to me and this HQ."

"I'm not a thief. That's just offensive."

"Do I look like I care if you're offended?" He tapped his beak thoughtfully. "Rule 7. Blowhole may not be in the HQ without supervision of someone other than Kowalski."

"Wow, I feel like I'm a teenager again. Let me guess. The lab door has to be cracked open a few inches too?" He cackled.

"You know what? Yes. Add that in there, Kowalski."

Kowalski narrowed his eyes at Blowhole as he wrote this down.

"Let's see, rule 8…" He sat on the edge of the table with his back to everyone. "No doomsday related inventions."

"Oh come on, sir! Those are the fun ones!" Kowalski gasped.

Skipper gave him a look. "Rule 9. Kowalski has to be back by 0200 for bed."

Kowalski's beak dropped further. "Y-you're putting me on a curfew?"

Blowhole erupted with cackling and almost lost his balance on his Segway. Marlene glanced at him and then cleared her throat. "Are you sure that's not a little too strict, Skipper?"

"No. He may have a mission the following day. I don't need him hung over from a drunken all-nighter date with a seadevil. I think 0200 is a fair time. I could have said an hour before lights out. Would you rather that?"

"I...I'll take the 0200." Kowalski murmured, looking away.

"Thought so. Now, last of all, Rule 10. I have the ability to add, subtract, or edit all of these rules at any time I want and if I see fit, may terminate this relationship at any time."

"I disagree with that last part." Blowhole looked at him.

"Tough. Take it or leave him. The rules and him are a package deal now." Skipper crossed his flippers.

The dolphin looked at Marlene. "So him having the ability to end our relationship at any time sounds fair to you?"

Marlene rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Well...You are a villain dating his lieutenant...I think as long as he doesn't abuse that power it should be okay. It'll let him at least feel like he has control over the situation."

"He has ten rules of control over the situation. But fine, whatever. I'll comply with the rules." He glanced at Kowalski. "You're lucky I like you."

"Ah! See! See! Proof! He said it himself, he likes me!" Kowalski pointed at him.

Skipper looked at the nerd. "Anyone can say words. You know some dolphins say a lot of sweet-sounding, empty words."

Blowhole leaned over, putting his flipper around Kowalski, tugging him closer along the seat. "Some of us dolphins even mean the words we say sometimes." He sent Skipper an irked glance.

Kowalski glanced from one to the other. "Why do I get the feeling you're both talking about something I don't know about?"

"Ah look at the time. I say we've covered what I wanted to for the meeting. So meeting adjourned." Skipper hopped down from the table.

Blowhole looked at Kowalski. "He's just edgy because of what happened in Costa Rica."

The flat-headed penguin stopped in his tracks and turned, pointing at Blowhole with a venomous sneer. "Zip. It. Or I will rip up the rules and take my lieutenant back with me."

"Oh no worries, Skipper. That's all I was going to say on the matter." The dolphin smiled at him. It seemed friendly enough, but Kowalski could tell it was still supposed to be provocative.

"It is getting pretty late...Thank you for coming, Francis. Guess I'll see you in a couple weeks?" He smiled at him as he started moving towards Skipper.

"Yes. I'll pick you up from here, around 10, so we can have fun and have you back by curfew."

"Copy that." Kowalski flipper gunned at him before following Skipper back towards the zoo.

Marlene looked up at Blowhole. "You know, I had a feeling you two would end up dating ever since that time that mutant MP3 player attacked."

"Hmm, how so?" He glanced down at her as he turned to leave.

"We all were being forced to sing, but the two of you mutually decided without even communicating the thought to turn it into a full broadway performance when you sang together. You both had such wide grins too."

Blowhole for a moment just stood there. "As far as Kowalski will ever know, he had a crush on me first." He then rolled away, leaving Marlene alone to decipher what he meant by that as she too walked back to the zoo.


	3. Date Prep

_**Chapter 3: Date Prep** _

"Red One, where did you put that sheet of paper I gave you last week?" Blowhole called over his shoulder as he flipped through a few files on a desk.

"...Can you narrow that down, boss?" The lobster looked up at him. "'Cause you gave me a few papers the past couple weeks."

The dolphin sighed, shaking his head. "The one with a list of things on legal pad paper."

"File K-2019."

Blowhole made a face as he opened a filing cabinet and started flipping through the Ks. "Why in Neptune's name do I have a file with such a random label?" He pulled out the file and started skimming its contents.

"Well...I took the liberty of starting it for you, doc. It stands for Kowalski-2019."

At his statement, he promptly shut the file. A brief expression of conflicting feelings flashed across his features before he bared his teeth with a sigh. "In the future, do ask me about new file names. As you know, I have a system and K-2019 does not follow that system."

"Right, won't happen again." The lobster turned to leave, but then paused by the door. "But it's not like Kowalski follows any of your typical 'systems.' Seemed fitting his file shouldn't too."

"Ah—Ermmmmm." He gritted his teeth, looking at the ceiling. "Just—go do some scheduling or something!"

"Roger that, boss." Red One chuckled and finally left, shutting the door behind himself.

Blowhole shook his head and looked in the file again. Some days that lobster tested his patience. He was one of his most trusted minions, sure...But the amount of amusement he got from his personal life was a little obnoxious. After all, his dating of a penguin was not meant to be a soap opera for his minions, and yet that was exactly what he kept hearing snippets of conversations about around his lair.

Sure, yes, the boss has a new boyfriend, how _exciting_. They didn't talk this much about any of his exes. But the moment he's dating his arch-nemesis's lieutenant, suddenly it was the most fascinating thing since Red Seventy-Six brought her eggs with her to work last year. Why in Neptune's name would anyone bring eggs to a villain's lair was beyond him, but it did occur on rare occasions. The lobsters had such a field day trying to determine amongst themselves who the father was. Spoiler alert, it was either Red Seventy-Seven or Red Sixty. Neither accepts parental responsibility, and no, as their boss he was not getting involved in these types of disputes.

Blowhole sighed, pulling out Skipper's list of rules and reviewing them. Why was he actually paying attention to this stupid list? He didn't _really_ have to follow anything Skipper said. After all, Skipper owed _him,_ not the other way around...But he didn't exactly want to get Kowalski in further trouble with Skipper. Sure, it might be funny at first...But then those sad looks he gives. They make him feel... _weird_...Like guilty or something. Whatever the emotion was, it wasn't pleasant. He would just have to find other ways to jab at Skipper that wouldn't put Kowalski in the line of fire.

He checked the time and closed the file, laying it on his desk. Later he would have to check if there was any other information he had scattered around to add to the file beyond what he had discovered from Project Firefly. He didn't have time for that now, though. He needed to get ready for their date tonight.

Blowhole rolled out of the room and into an elevator. He took it to the upper rooms and rolled down the hallway to his bedroom. He rolled over to a small vanity. He pulled open a drawer, taking out a bottle of cleaning solution and a cloth, setting them on the vanity counter. Carefully, he then took off his robotic eye. He focused completely on cleaning the device, averting his gaze from the mirror while he wasn't wearing it. Blowhole then fixed it back on his head, finally looking at the mirror to make sure it was fitting correctly. He then sighed, taking out a little concealer and applying it to the parts of his scar that were still visible around his invention. It wasn't a perfect cover up, but at least it made it less noticeable.

After this he cleaned up after himself and leaned up straight on his Segway. He rolled over to his closet, flipping on the light and looked at the numerous suits and assorted ties, before shaking his head. "What am I thinking? We're just going to the karaoke bar. That's casual." He turned off the light and rolled out of the room.

Once again he took the elevator, this time down to his garage. He glanced over his vehicles and grabbed the keys for the modified luxury car. He stowed his Segway in the back before getting in and starting his drive to New York. He rolled down a window, leaning on his fin as he drove with the other. Perhaps his next lair should be closer to New York.

Actually, he needed to start checking into real estate for that anyhow. His current plans should be ready for the peng-u-ins to attack in February, so he had until then to find a new place and have the lobsters move anything not-associated with that plan so that his current lair would be ready for its destruction. He was starting to get tired of its current wallpaper and decor anyway. A new interior design project would be interesting at the very least….And would certainly save on fuel if it was closer to the peng-u-ins instead of farther away if he was going to continue dating Kowalski.

Not that he had plans to stop dating him currently. He just hadn't exactly had plans to _start_ dating him until these past few insane months. It was unplanned, unexpected, and unprecedented...But not undesired, unwanted, nor unsatisfactory. It had been a year or so since his last relationship. Of course, suddenly disappearing for months at a time does tend to take a toll on a relationship when they don't know what you do for a living. Kowalski would be his second date who knew about his darker side...But definitely the first to really see both sides of him. His relationship with Julien was so short; he only saw his villain side. All of his other exes only ever met his Francis side.

Blowhole sat up as he was getting closer to the zoo and started keeping watch for a parking-spot. He then smirked as he whipped into a spot along the sidewalk. Was there a human that may have been waiting on that spot? Maybe. Did he care? Absolutely not. He waited a moment for the other car to pass before getting out, getting his Segway, and rolling to the zoo.

He stopped at the gate and checked the time. It was nearly ten. He'd give Kowalski a few minutes to waddle out himself before he might send him a text. A bush rustled slightly to his left, but he didn't bother to glance at it as he put his phone away. There was a small November breeze out after all.

"So we're ready to go?"

Blowhole quickly turned his head towards the voice before narrowing his eye. "Where did you just come from?"

Kowalski smirked slightly, his flippers clasped behind his back. "A tunnel exit I have nearby. Why? Did I startle you?"

"Pfft. No. I just wanted to know why I didn't see you approach." The dolphin crossed his flippers stubbornly. "But yeah, we can go. Are you going to waddle this time, or do you want to ride in the basket?"

"Uhhh…" He took a step closer. "I guess the basket."

"Smart choice. Easier to chat with you when you're above wheel level." He nodded, scooping him up and plopping him in the basket.

Kowalski made himself comfortable and looked up at him again. "So...You've been busy this past week?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"I mean I've barely heard from you since Skipper assigned those rules. I was just a little curious about what you've been up to."

"Oh." He nodded as he rolled down the sidewalk. "Just work stuff. Of course, I'm not going to spoil the details to you, but I've been scheming."

"Cool." The penguin nodded thoughtfully.

"You?"

"Nothing much really. A little tinkering."

"Oh? Do tell."

Kowalski leaned forward and got out his clipboard, flipping back a few pages. "I'm currently calling it the Weatherizer."

"And I'm assuming it does something with the weather?"

"Yeah...It's essentially a weather manipulation machine." He nodded with a sigh. "I know Skipper thinks you've already been there, done that—"

"He's not wrong. I do have a weather machine."

Kowalski glanced up at him before looking at his plans. "I'm sure mine is different from yours."

"Oh don't worry about it. Mine was just built to irritate Skipper. It wasn't anything of scale. I'm assuming yours would cover a broader area?"

"Yes, exactly!" He tapped the page. "Mainly I thought it would be useful in the summer months when it's hot and we need rain. I remember one unbearable summer we sparked a rainstorm with pretzel salt...But I thought a weather machine would be so much easier."

"Well, let me know if you need any materials. I may have some spare crates that I could send over."

"Oh, uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "That's kind of you to offer, but…"

"Nah, I insist. Just let me text me later what you need, okay?"

"Okay then…" He nodded slowly with slightly widened eyes. "Thank you."

Blowhole smiled slightly and patted his head. "You want to get something to eat and talk first again, or just jump straight to singing this time?"

"I think a bite to eat first would be great."

"Then that's what we'll do." He nodded, opening the bar door and rolling inside.


	4. Date Redo

**A.N.- The songs featured are: "Something There" from _Beauty and the Beast_ , written by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman and "I Didn't Know I Could Feel This Way" from _Lady and the Tramp 2_ , written by: Melissa Manchester and Norman Gimbel.**

* * *

_**Chapter 4: Date Redo** _

Kowalski nodded thankfully to Francis as the dolphin relocated him from the basket to a chair at a table inside, the table farthest from any of the other animals at the bar that night.

"So what do you want this time? Vodka again?"

"Blueberry vodka if possible, but if not I'll honestly drink anything." He smiled at him.

"Alright, be right back." He nodded and rolled away.

Kowalski stayed at the table, or well in his seat. He could barely see over the rim of the table. He sighed and sat back as he waited. Some days, being a small penguin was a little obnoxious. Everything was always too big….And then too small at the HQ when everything is prepared for _shorter_ penguins. He just couldn't win when it came to things being a comfortable size, and it honestly sucked.

"One blueberry vodka, a vesper martini, and nachos." Francis set the items on the table. He looked over and chuckled. "Do you need a booster seat?"

"...I want to say no, but yes, please." He sighed with a look of mild humiliation.

"It's not your fault you're tiny. There's no need to be embarrassed." Francis rolled over to a side wall and plucked up one of the booster seats and brought it over. He lifted Kowalski beneath his flippers with one fin and sat the seat in his chair before setting him down. "How's that?" He nudged the chair closer to the table.

"Much better, thank you."

Francis moved over to the other chair, somewhat awkwardly sitting sideways so that his tail wasn't being impacted by the table. "You'd think a bar for animals would have seating more adapted for animals."

"I guess they either can't afford it or haven't invented it yet. Are there animal-specified chair manufacturers?"

"You know, you pose a good question. I'm sure there is somewhere." He paused. "Well, besides me. I have designed a number of dolphin-specified devices and furniture."

"At least for penguins you just have to modify human toddler-sized things slightly. It's cheaper than having to fully design and build everything."

"Like your team's coupe."

"Exactly. I've added so many modifications to that baby. It's a little snug for me if I drive it, but it fits Rico as is and he's usually who drives."

Francis sipped his martini thoughtfully. "Have you given any further thought to that car for you we had discussed before?"

Kowalski nodded, pulling out his notebook and flipping back a few pages. "What do you think of this?"

"Hmm…" He picked up the notebook. "I think you could do better. Don't think about material costs when designing. Draw it how you would really want it." He passed it back.

"Are you sure? The simplest and cheapest method would be like how I've outlined, using a child's car base and adding modifications." He looked up at him.

Francis sighed, shaking his head. "Jan. We're not building something together that looks like it was built from junkyard parts. We're building it from scratch with the good stuff. Do you want your car to look like something top-of-the-line, or like it's just been thrown together?"

"Well of course top-of-the-line." He sighed. "I...I'm just not used to having that option to take into consideration. I always have to budget what funding I do have with what income I get from selling blueprints, and then what materials I am able to find otherwise at the junkyards or in lost-and-found."

"You have the option now. Might as well make use of it." He winked at him, smirking.

Kowalski's feathers flustered as he took a sip of his drink. "Point made. I'll keep that in mind when I work on the next draft."

Francis nodded, taking a sip of his martini. "So Kowalski, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Serious questions this time, not for a scheme?" He raised a nonexistent brow.

"Right, no schemes attached."

Kowalski nodded as he reached for one of the nachos. "Then sure, ask away."

"Alright, first question. How spontaneous would you say you are?"

"Uh...That depends. I am often coming up with ideas on the fly, but I generally plan out my weeks thoroughly because of training and everything. But I don't mind a little spontaneousness now and then. It helps everything not feel so repetitive." He looked at him. "Was that sufficient?"

Francis nodded, getting a chip. "Favorite of your inventions?"

"Maybe the Chronotron? I worked on it for a couple years, then when I completed it, I over-thought myself to the point that I created a paradox and a rift in time and space." He sighed, rubbing a flipper across his face. "I would have called it my crowning achievement if it hadn't failed so horribly. It had so much potential. It still makes no sense how throwing the Chronotron into the rift caused it to close. By all my math, it still doesn't seem possible."

"So you like playing with time? Why?"

Kowalski looked away for a second. "I don't know. It's just always fascinated me. The Stop-Watch could pause time; I got so much done when it was jammed...Or rather, gummed up." He rolled his eyes, sighing. "But we have limited time alive. With how my luck runs, I'm well aware I'm probably going to die early. And there's just so much I'd like to do and see first. Getting to alter time so that you have infinite hours to do things, you could do everything you wanted before you run out of time."

"And what impact does your time alterations have on your personal aging?"

"I….I have no idea." He looked at him with slightly widened eyes. "That was never an aspect I took into account." He pressed his beak tightly shut for a moment. "I don't even know how long exactly Julien and I were trapped in a moment of time. It had to have been at least a few months if time had still been moving. It was certainly less than a year. I'm not sure my patience would have lasted to have been trapped with Julien for a year."

"He's not that bad." Francis sipped his Martini. "He's funny."

"He's a pain in the tail feathers. You don't understand how often he steals my inventions, causes mayhem, and then _I_ get stuck with the blame." He grumbled.

"But is that really his fault, or is it Skipper's?"

Kowalski looked up at him. "I blame them both. Shall I ask you a question now, or will you ask another?" He took a large sip of his vodka.

Francis nodded. "Be my guest."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Let's go with pink."

Kowalski looked at him with interest. "You don't say? I would have taken you for a liker of Red."

"Red's nice too, but pink is more fun. Pink says party." He shrugged. "And what about you?"

"I have two favorites. Lime green and lilac."

"So practically Disney villain colors."

Kowalski chuckled and shook his head. "I guess, technically, yeah. I just think they're pretty."

"They are." He looked over towards the karaoke area and glanced back at Kowalski. "You almost ready for karaoke?"

"Sure."

"Have any ideas for tonight's songs?"

Kowalski tapped his beak, then smirked slightly. "What about Disney since you brought it up?"

Francis glanced down at him with an amused smirk of his own. "Alright, you're on. We'll put Disney to shame on their own songs." He stood up, hopping onto his Segway. "Do you need help down from your booster?"

"No, I can jump down," he said, climbing onto the side of the seat. It immediately started to tip over, but Francis caught the other side with his fin and held it down. Kowalski glanced up at him with an awkward smile. "Thanks." He then hopped down.

The two then approached the stage. This time around, Kowalski seemed much more at ease. There was no quivering behind his date, no attempts to back out. He just waddled up the steps and stood by him, ready to sing.

"So what are we singing?"

Kowalski looked up at him. "How about that one from _Beauty and the Beast_? The duet one."

"I think I know that one...Yeah, yeah, that will work." He nodded, turning to tell the DJ.

Kowalski watched him, hiding a laugh as the DJ appeared like he was nearly going to reject their request, but Francis gave him a look and he just nodded. So what if it is a bar? They can enjoy a little Disney karaoke. The spectators are mainly drunk anyway after all. He then waited, counting the beats to start.

" _There's something sweet and almost kind  
_ _But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined  
_ _And now he's dear and so I'm sure  
_ _I wonder why I didn't see it there before."_

Francis then picked up the next stanza.

" _He glanced this way, I thought I saw  
_ _And when we touched he didn't shudder at my ….fin  
_ _No, it can't be, I'll just ignore  
_ _But then he's never looked at me that way before."_

Kowalski smiled up at Francis.

" _New and a bit alarming  
_ _Who'd have ever thought that this could be  
_ _True, that he's no Prince Charming  
_ _But there's something in him that I simply didn't see."_

Francis leaned down by him.

" _Well, who'd have thought?"_

Kowalski put his flipper around him.

" _Well, bless my soul."_

" _Well, who'd have known?"_

" _Well, who indeed?"_

Then, they continued together.

" _And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?  
It's so peculiar  
We'll wait and see  
A few days more  
There may be something there that wasn't there before."_

Kowalski chuckled. "Alright, I had my fun. You don't have to pick Disney if you don't want to for the next song."

"Nonsense. I can think of a decent Disney duet." The dolphin snorted, leaning away as he thought. "Ah! I know one. Think _Lady and the Tramp 2_." He fin-gunned at him before turning back to the DJ. After a moment, he began.

" _I never had this feeling before  
_ _He gives me shakes and shivers I can't ignore  
_ _And I see that there's more now  
_ _Than just running free."_

Kowalski glanced at his phone for a quick lyric reminder.

" _I never felt my heart beat so fast  
_ _I'm thinking of him first and of myself last  
_ _And how happy I want him to be."_

Francis nodded, listing the mike.

" _It's amazing!  
_ _Someone in my life  
_ _Just might be loving me  
_ _I didn't know that I could feel this way."_

" _It's so crazy!  
_ _Something in my life is better than a dream  
_ _I didn't know that I could feel this way."_

The two leaned closer.

" _He makes me warm and happy inside."_

" _He smiles and I get dizzy and starry-eyed."_

Then they sang together.

" _All these feelings I have  
_ _Have me asking-"_

Francis sang first.

" _Can this be love?"_

Then Kowalski.

" _Can this be love?"_

Then once again together, both in song and in nearness as Francis had leaned down again to Kowalski's level.

" _It's crazy  
_ _I can hardly speak  
_ _Whenever he says hi  
_ _I didn't know that I could feel  
_ _I never dreamed that I could feel  
_ _I didn't know that I could feel this...  
_ _Way."_

The two chuckled slightly. Francis then lightly kissed Kowalski's beak. "Why don't we go back for another drink? Maybe come back up later for an encore?"

Kowalski's feather's flustered as he smiled and looked bashfully away. "I'd like that."

"Then come on, Mittens." He cackled as he rolled off the stage.


	5. Dear Doris

_**Chapter 5: Dear Doris** _

Kowalski was once again sitting in the Segway basket as they rolled back towards the Central Park Zoo. It was about a half-hour until his curfew time. He looked back up at Francis with a content and thoughtful smile.

"What?" The dolphin raised a brow, looking down at him.

"Thank you."

"For?"

Kowalski shrugged slightly. "For tonight? Putting up with Skipper's rules? For just dating me in general?" He chuckled quietly. "I really enjoyed it."

"Ehh, Skipper's rules may be obnoxious, but they're nothing I can't find my way around." He shrugged before ruffling Kowalski's feathers. "Feels better not having to sneak around?"

"Oh cod, yes." He leaned back in the basket, getting into a more comfortable position. "I know he's not happy, but at least I no longer have to lie. I feel like I'm actually allowed to enjoy myself now."

"So during our past dates you didn't feel like you were allowed to enjoy them?"

"Partially, yeah." He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, I would, I just would feel so guilty and selfish about it."

"There's nothing wrong with being a little selfish."

"I know...It's just after over twenty years of living with the 'all for one, one for all' mentality, doing things that are purely for my personal benefit just feels...Wrong."

Francis patted his head. "Maybe one day we should talk about this in more depth?"

"Oh uh...We don't need to do that, Francis. It's fine, really."

"Is it though? Is it really fine?" He glanced down at him. "Why don't you at least think about it?"

"I will think about it." Kowalski nods, sitting up as he could now see the zoo entrance. "Wait, is Skipper on the ice flow? Did we miss curfew?"

"No, you're back with plenty of time. He was probably expecting us to miss it." He rolled in through the gate.

"Probably."

Francis rolled up in front of the penguin habitat and grinned down at the flat-headed penguin. "Well, well, well, Skipper. I didn't expect you to be up so late. I thought you slept at ten like the old grouch you are?"

"Can it, Blowhole. You're older than I am."

"Not by much. Regardless, I'm still young at heart." He held his fin to his chest and smirked. "But no fear old man, I brought your _darling_ little boy back in one-piece before his curfew."

Skipper rolled his eyes, crossing his flippers. "Hurry up. Some of us would like to get some sleep."

"Alright, alright, keep your feathers on." Francis rolled his eye, picking Kowalski up from the basket. He held him up for a moment, making eye contact with Skipper before kissing his cheek and sitting him on the ground. "Sleep tight, Mittens."

Kowalski covered his face with his flippers. "Night!" He couldn't look at Skipper after that.

Skipper did not even attempt to hide his expression of disgust. "You can leave now, villainous scum."

The dolphin grinned one last time. "Fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted. But you're missing out, I'm an absolute _delight_ to have around." He then dramatically turned around and rolled away.

Kowalski watched him go before looking at Skipper with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I-"

"No. I don't want to hear a dolphin apologist. Just go to bed." He yawned. "Or at least get inside."

"Oh, uh, right." He nodded, holding the hatch open for Skipper to hop down first before following him down. When he reached the bottom rung, for a moment he just stayed there and looked over at the bunks. Rico and Private were sound asleep. Skipper was climbing into his own bed.

"You going to bed or what?" Skipper glanced over his shoulder.

"Uhhh, not tired yet. I'll be in the lab, sir." He hopped down, nodding.

His commander nodded, laying down. "Fine, but don't stay up all night."

"Noted," He murmured, waddling into the lab and closing the door behind himself. He flipped on the light and looked around. His gaze fell upon a stack of scrap paper on his workbench. He waddled over and flicked through the stack for a couple sheets that were still usable and pulled them out. He straightened them out on the work surface and grabbed a pencil from a nearby cup.

With his foot, Kowalski dragged a stool closer to the bench and took a seat. "Let's see, now how should I word this?" He tapped the pencil eraser against his beak as he thought. He then touched it to the paper.

"Dearest Doris." He flipped the pencil and erased it. "No...Dear Doris. Yes, that's much better." He thought for a moment before continuing. "I hope you are doing well. I know we agreed to give each other some space after our awkward date. However, I need to talk with you as a friend as soon as possible. Preferably before you go to your family Thanksgiving-" Kowalski sighed, crumbling up the paper and tossing it aside. He pulled out the other and started over.

"Dear Doris, what's up?" He groaned and erased that. "Dear Doris, I hope you are doing well. I apologize for violating our agreement to give each other some space, but I need to talk with you, as a friend, as soon as possible. It's important. I promise I won't try to ask you out again, I've moved on and that's part of why I need to talk to you. Thank you in advance, J. Kowalski."

Kowalski nibbled the eraser of his pencil as he read over his work and sighed. "Yeah, this is going to be awkward no matter what. I don't think I can improve this much." He opened a drawer and grabbed out an almost empty vodka bottle. He poured the reminisce into a nearby beaker before taking the bottle to a sink and rinsed and dried it. He held it up in the light, examining it for any cracks before bringing it back to the desk. He sipped the vodka from the beaker before taking a water-proof marker and writing _**DORIS**_ on the side of the bottle. He then rolled up the letter, poked it inside, and screwed the cap back on.

"Maybe they can do a rush delivery," he sighed, glancing at the clock. He finished what little vodka was left in the beaker before hopping up with the bottle. He turned out the light in the lab before slowly and quietly opening the door. He looked over at the bunks. Good, Skipper was asleep now too. He then slunk over to the ladder and climbed out.

Carefully, he lowered the dish. Kowalski then hurried from the zoo, through New York, and down to the docks. Thankfully, at four in the morning, traffic wasn't that bad so he didn't have to play Frogger, or even be that stealthy. When he arrived at the docks, he looked around himself before pulling three times on a hidden string at the base of the railing that led down into the water.

A few minutes later, a teal-green tentacle slithered up onto the decking, followed by another and another. Kowalski took a step back with a hesitant frown. Tentacles were not the response to that string he was accustomed to at all. He raised his flippers in a defensive stance as he watched an octopus slither up.

"Kowalski? Is that you, man?"

Kowalski lowered his flippers, smiling sheepishly. "Oh Harry." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah...Yeah, it's me. I uh, I didn't know you were part of the aquatic bottle message service."

"You were expecting Steve, that harbor seal?"

"Kind of..."

Harry nodded. "He was reassigned last month."

"Oh." Kowalski nodded, looking at the bottle in his flipper. "Well...Not to be awkward, but I have a letter I need to send to Doris...And once again, I'm really sorry about your date with her that I interrupted way back when. My intel was...Incorrect. I should have done a better background check." He cleared his throat, looking away.

"Ehhh, don't worry about it, man. Doris had warned me she had an overprotective little buddy." He chuckled and held out an arm.

"Heh, yeah, that'd be me alright." He handed him the bottle. "Have you...Have you seen her lately? It's been...It's been a number of months since I last have spoken with her."

"Last week she was doing great. We went and did some fishing together down near the coves."

"Oh! You're uh, you're seeing each other again?"

Harry shrugged, getting the bottle. "It's nothing official, just a little hanging out." He smiled at him. "But I'm thinking about asking her out again."

"Nice...Nice...Good luck." He smiled awkwardly. "I promise this time I won't be dropping in on your dates. I uh, I moved on and am seeing someone myself."

"Congrats, man!" He bumped Kowalski's shoulder with an arm. "Is that what you're telling Doris about?"

Kowalski awkwardly rubbed his upper flipper. "Kinda." He cleared his throat again. "I need to talk with her urgently as a friend...It does have to do with whom I am dating, because I know she knows them, and I...I want to get her permission before anything gets too serious."

Harry grinned at him. "Ohh, I get you, man." He ruffled the feathers on Kowalski's head. "I get you. I'll make sure your letter gets to Doris in record time, little man." He winked at him. "You must be itching to get that permission."

"Uh...Sure." He raised a brow. "And thank you, Harry. I greatly appreciate this. Do you have a time estimate for when I should expect you back with an answer from her?"

"Uhhhhh, maybe two days tops? She's not that far out yet."

"Two days would be just fine. I'll see you then."

"Yeah man, it's a date." Harry tentacle-gunned at him.

Kowalski awkwardly flipper-gunned back. "Ye-yeah. Sure." He paused. "You...You do mean like a scheduled meeting...Right?"

"Yeah man."

"Right. Okay, well, it was nice seeing you again, Harry. Have a good evening." He nodded to him.

"See ya, Kowalski." He waved back as Kowalski had already begun to slide away.


	6. The Laptop

_**Chapter 6: The Laptop** _

"Blast it all. Where did it go?!"

Skipper looked up as the lab door flew open and one disgruntled Kowalski marched out and over to the cabinets. He took another sip of his coffee as he watched him. "What'cha blasting it all for now?"

"I can't find my computer. It makes no sense!" He gestured wildly. "I left it in its special drawer like I have been when it's not in use."

"You had a computer small enough to fit in a drawer? Well that's a new development."

Kowalski squinted at him. "It was a small laptop. However, it is of the utmost importance that I find it soon." He took a deep breath. "Could you _please_ help me search for it, sir?"

"Just where did you get it anyway?"

"It was a gift."

"From Blowhole?"

Kowalski crossed his flippers with a look. "No, from the Red Squirrel." He rolled his eyes. "What happened to it? I _know_ you know something about it."

"I might." He sipped his coffee again.

"Skipper, I don't have time for games. I have an essay due tomorrow. I _need_ that computer."

Skipper squinted at him. "An essay? For who?"

Kowalski sighed deeply and rubbed his flipper across his face. "For one of my online classes." He looked at him tiredly. "I've been working towards getting my own PhD. Francis gave me that computer so that I could do my work with more ease."

"Um…" He was quiet for a moment, looking away.

"Um?" He crossed his flippers. "What does um mean? Skipper, what happened to my computer?" His voice was stern and demanding, but also rushed with worry.

Skipper rubbed the back of his neck. "Well...It's kind of funny actually." He forced a short laugh. "Rico mentioned it, thinking it may be some way Blowhole was sneaking information off you. So I uh...It uh...Hahahahaha, trust me, you'll laugh too."

Kowalski's eyes narrowed viciously. "Continue."

"You remember that calculator of yours we thought was that world threatening invention plan of yours?"

"You, you didn't."

Skipper stood up with his coffee. "Yeah uh...Sorry. It's been decommissioned."

Kowalski's eye twitched for a moment. "You...YOU DESTROYED MY LAPTOP?!" He once again motioned wildly, before clenching his beak and fists tightly. "I JUST-I-I CAN'T EVEN!" he sputtered. "YOU-YOU-GRRRR!" He growled before sliding into his lab and slamming the door behind himself. He then leaned against the door and rubbed his flippers on his face, then just held them against his beak. His heart was in his throat; his stomach was twisting with the nausea of anger. It was taking every ounce of restraint to keep himself from doing something he may regret.

Kowalski shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. Like usual, the tsunami of rage passed over him quickly. He then unclenched his flippers and jaw and opened his eyes. Blinking back tears, he waddled over to his cot under his lab bench and sat down. He reached back under his covers and pulled out a small lavender-colored dolphin plush and hugged it tightly.

After a moment he sniffed and stroked the plush. "Why can't they just trust me for once, Penelope? Why must they always destroy everything they don't trust?" He sighed, wiping his eyes again. "I guess I should gather my papers and see if I can use Alice's desktop tonight. I should probably call Francis and let him know video chatting is out of commission for now, too."

Kowalski sighed once more and shook his head. "I should have put the laptop in a safer location. I know how paranoid Skipper can be. I hope Francis won't be too mad about the computer. It was a nice spur of the moment gift, but I hope he doesn't feel compelled to replace it either. I can get my old computer back up and running, right, Penelope?"

Of course, Penelope didn't reply to any of that, since, after all, she was merely a plush toy.

"...Maybe I should apologize to Skipper, too, for reacting as I did...I...I should have been more understanding, right? After all...He, he has every right to be paranoid about any gifts Francis may give me...But I had checked the computer myself for any possible ways Blowhole could try to use it against us...If he had just asked me, I would have told him it was clean." He sighed again.

"No, Jan. Skipper should apologize to you first, Jan. You were fine to be upset, Jan. It'll be okay, Jan." Kowalski shook the dolphin, using a higher pitch voice. He then groaned and sat the plush aside. "Giving myself a pep talk with a stuffed animal...Maybe I should take up Francis's offer to talk with him."

He reached over and shook the dolphin again with the voice. "Maybe you should go ahead and call him before you talk to Skipper."

Kowalski took out his cell phone, shaking his head. He pressed the Facetime option and awkwardly held the phone out as it rang. He quickly wiped his eyes with his flipper and prepared a forced smile.

After a moment, Francis answered, though his attention was not directly on his phone. He was looking back over his shoulder. "Hey, hey. Careful with that, Red Six!" He looked back. "Hey, Kowalski. Wait, have you been crying?"

"NO-...Maybe a little." Kowalski sighed. "How...How mad would you be if you heard something may or may not have happened to that laptop you gave me?"

Francis blinked. "Um, why would I be mad? What happened?"

"Apparently Skipper though it was bugged or something and had it 'decommissioned.'"

"...Didn't you say you had homework due or something?"

Kowalski nodded. "Yeah, but it's fine. I'll use Alice's desktop until I get my old one back up and going."

"So you're planning to either do homework on a dinosaur or a frankensteined dinosaur." He shook his head. "I'll send a lobster with another laptop." He turned and looked over his shoulder again. "RED ONE!" He looked at his phone again. "I had another set aside in case something happened to that other one. However, this one I did do a little extra tinkering on. You may find it more peng-u-in-friendly."

Kowalski blinked for a moment. "Francis, you really...You don't have to send me another laptop."

"Don't worry about it, Jan. I want to send you another one. Then later I want to hear feedback about the added features." He smiled at him and looked over his shoulder again. "RED ONE!"

"Here, doc!"

"The laptop in cage 46. Go deliver it to Kowalski."

"On it!"

Francis nodded and looked back at the phone. "So back to why you were crying earlier…"

"I almost lost my temper with Skipper, and then I was just upset about the whole situation." Kowalski rubbed the back of his neck. "I still need to go apologize to him."

"Hold on, I don't think I heard you correctly. You did not say you were apologizing to _him_."

"I did say that. I feel bad for how I reacted…"

Francis shook his head. "No. No, he is supposed to apologize to you. He destroyed your personal property and you had every right to be upset. You don't have to roll over and be submissive to Skipper all the time-"

"Penguins don't roll over, Francis. That's dogs. Penguins dramatically waddle away."

"You know what I mean." He rolled his eye. "I get he's your commanding officer, but he should still respect you and your stuff."

"But I already stood my ground about dating you…"

"Exactly! It should be even easier this time because it's lower stakes!"

"Won't I be pushing it? I don't...I don't really want to be fired because of a little dispute over a computer."

"If Skipper fires you because you called him out for being a jerk, then you really should get your stuff and come work for me. However, I think you'll gain more respect from him by standing up and holding your ground. You know, like Parker does to me."

"Parker does that?"

"Oh yeah, he questions my choices often, and I respect him for it. But that's because he's also my best friend...Weren't you Skipper's best friend?"

Kowalski looked away. "Used to be…"

"Then maybe it's time to give Skipper a little tough love until he acts like a friend again."

"Okay, if you think it's a good idea...Then I won't apologize to Skipper first."

"Good." Francis shifted and raised a brow. "What's that purple thing?"

Kowalski quickly shoved his pillow over it. "NOTHING."

"Oh it's definitely something with that kind of reaction~"

"GOT TO GO. TALK TO YOU LATER." Kowalski promptly ended the call. He sat the phone aside and rescued the plush from under his pillow. "Sorry Penelope, but...I'm not ready to introduce the two of you yet." He then tucked the plush under the covers and stood up. He then walked over to the door, flipper poised on the handle as he took a deep breath. He then opened the door and stepped out.

Skipper was once again, sitting at the table. This time he was playing Go Fish with the others.

Kowalski cleared his throat as he waddled over. "Skipper...When this game is finished, may I have a word with you?"

"We can take a pause." Private smiled. "I want to get a cup of lemonade anyway."

Skipper glanced at Private then at Kowalski and sat his cards down with a sigh. "Fine. I guess we can talk now."

"Could we do so privately, please?" He tapped his flipper tips, before murmuring under his breath. "So you don't feel like I'm rallying a mutiny."

"Go on, I'll follow you to the lab." He nodded, standing up.

Kowalski opened the door again, nodding. He waddled inside and closed the door behind Skipper. "Sir, you...You were out of line."

"Excuse me?" He crossed his flippers.

"You took my computer from my lab and destroyed it without asking me about it first. That was...You know you did the wrong thing."

"Kowalski." Skipper looked at him. "I followed my gut."

"Are you sure you didn't follow your biases towards Blowhole and your paranoia? You know I'm not your enemy, sir. I am your second in command, your lieutenant. I was once your best friend until you started pushing me away. All I ask is that you trust my judgement and respect my lab and the items inside of it. I wouldn't even think of destroying your personal property because I respect and trust you...Though admittedly, both of those are diminishing exponentially with your recent displays of disrespect and lack of trust." He crossed his flippers.

Skipper leaned back against the wall and looked at him. "I'm guessing this is your long winded request for an apology."

"I'd say yes, but I know you don't apologize. I just wanted you to know that you hurt me and I'm not going to let that go unmentioned anymore."

"Oh great, more nancy cat whining."

Kowalski's eye twitched again. "Sir. If one of us is being a nancy cat, it's _you_ for being too afraid to acknowledge when you've made a mistake." He leaned forward with a growl.

Skipper looked up at him and was quiet for a long minute. He then took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright, fine. I'm sorry."

"Thank you. I accept your apology, but I still am mad at you." He sighed and looked away. "I'm sorry for my outburst earlier, but I just couldn't fathom what you did. I thought you would have trusted me to have checked any gifts for bugs before bringing anything into the HQ. That's what really hurt me, more than the destruction of the very first gift I've ever gotten from someone I'm dating."

"You did that?"

"Yes! I am dating a villain, Skipper. I do not one hundred percent trust him. I like him; I respect him; I care about him, but I know he's evil and he'll use whatever sneaky advantage he can. I am fully aware of this. You're not the only paranoid member of this unit, sir. I am not blindly floundering in love."

"Alright, alright...I may have sold you a little short."

Kowalski nodded and smiled slightly. "Yeah, selling me a little taller would be appreciated...After all, you're the short one here."

Skipper stood up with a glare. "Careful, Kowalski. You're on thin ice."

"I retract my comment; I feel better now." He chuckled slightly. "You're dismissed, sir."

"Oh, _I'm_ dismissed? You can't dismiss me."

"Too bad, because I just dismissed you." He opened the door. "Have fun with your card game."

Skipper glared at him as he waddled out. He pointed at him in a circular fashion. "I don't like this."

"Your opinion has been noted, but the sass currently couldn't care less." He then shut the door.


	7. A Talk at the Docks

_**Chapter 7: A Talk at the Docks** _

Later that week, Kowalski found himself once again down by the docks. According to Harry, Doris was going to come back to the docks to talk with him. And so, he paced there, mumbling to himself as he tried to get his thoughts in order.

At the sound of splashing he looked up and swallowed down the anxious feelings that had crept up into his throat. "G-Good evening, Doris. Thank you for meeting me on such sh-short notice."

Doris smiled slightly at him. "Hey Kowalski...It's...Been awhile, hasn't it?"

Kowalski nodded, rubbing his neck as he looked away. "Nearly a year, yeah."

"Yeah...Yeah that sounds about right." She paused and looked at him. "So things are good?"

"Oh yeah...Yeah things have been going just like usual. You?"

"Everything's been great…"

Kowalski nodded again and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I have to break this awkward tension. I've missed you, but namely our friendship, Doris. I...I was a bad friend before. I was too...Clingy."

"I'm...I'm not going to argue with that." She sighed. "But I did miss our chats, too. You are a really nice guy, Kowalski...We're just not each other's type."

"I realized that too...That was...That dinner was absolute chaos." He awkwardly chuckled.

"You are the only date I've ever had that managed to catch a picnic on fire."

"What can I say? I'm multi-talented."

Doris giggled and shook her head. "That you certainly are. Your new girlfriend is a lucky girl."

Kowalski stiffened slightly. "Ah um...Maybe." He motioned to her. "My new date is actually one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you tonight."

"Oh? What's up?"

"Well…" He tapped his flipper tips. "It was unexpected to both them and me, but so far it's probably been the best relationship I've ever been in. However, before anything potentially gets serious...I wanted your okay on the matter."

"Why would...Why would you need my okay?" She leaned away slightly.

He took another deep breath. "Because...Because I've been seeing Francis."

Doris went silent.

Kowalski looked up at her dumbstruck expression and pulled on the feathers of his flipper. "I...I know that this would be...Surprising news for you. This is why I wanted to ask you."

"Francis as in...Francis my brother?"

"Yes…"

Doris touched a fin to her rostrum and looked away. "I...I don't know, Kowalski. I don't know. You're a nice guy...My brother...My brother isn't." She turned back to him. "You know that, even better than me. He's been plotting human genocide!"

"I know…"

"And...And then there's our history, Kowalski." Her voice has changed in pitch with concern. "Kowalski, if Francis found out about how you used to stalk me, he would murder you. Literally. You...And Parker. Friendship, relationship, whatever. It wouldn't matter."

Kowalski nodded and sat down at the edge of the dock and sighed. "Yeah...Parker and I silently consider that secret the codes to our Cold War mutual destruction. He won't tell, and I won't tell because we know if one of us is found out, the other of us will drag the other down too."

"I...I don't understand why you would even want to date Francis, Kowalski."

"We understand each other." He sighed, looking at the water below. "I've never...I've never connected with someone as well as I have with Francis. We just...Clicked." He looked up at her with watery eyes. "I would never have made that invention had I known it would lead me to him, Doris, I swear. I...I value our friendship too much to have actively sought out your brother to date."

"In-Invention? What are you…?"

"The Love-u-Lator 6000." He leaned back onto his flippers. "An invention that you input a DNA sample and it scientifically matches you with your perfect potential mate."

"And it...It led you to Francis?" She made a face and looked at him. "I didn't even know that you _liked_ boys?"

"It's something I've gone back and forth with over the years." He smiled sheepishly. "It's hard to tell if you like guys when the only ones that catch your interest have been dolphins. Was I really bi or just attracted to dolphins?" He shook his head. "I don't think I'll ever know that answer, but...But I like Francis, that much I do know."

Doris moved closer to him again with a sigh. "I'm still not sure about this, Kowalski. He could use your relationship to hurt you, or your teammates."

"Oh we already covered that." He laughed a short, curt laugh. "I found out on our third date that he had been collecting information to use against us from our talks. Parker spilled the secret for him, hoping it would break us up."

"...Then why have you continued to date him? I dumped Parker the day I found out about him being...Well...Evil."

"Because Francis came clean to me about it when confronted. He admitted everything. He explained himself...He...He said he had bonded with me." He looked up at her. "He told me he liked me."

Doris looked down at him. "He said he bonded with you? Loyalty bonded?"

Kowalski nodded.

"He...He generally avoids bonding." She paused and rolled her eyes. "Probably due to his whole evil villain secrets thing."

"...He's not completely evil, Doris." He sighed. "He thinks he's doing a good thing."

"WHAT IS GOOD ABOUT GENOCIDE, KOWALSKI?!"

"Nothing! That's not—I didn't mean it like that!"

Doris stared at him. "Then please explain."

"He doesn't want what happened to him to happen to you or your mother or any other dolphin. He thinks the best way to protect you all is to rid the world of humans."

"But genocide is still wrong."

"It is...He just...He carries a lot of hurt and anger, Doris. You said it yourself, he would want to kill Parker and I for hurting your emotions," he said slowly. "Now imagine, they took him from you all for years. He lost his eye because of the humans...Fear is a powerful motivator. I doubt he would admit it, but he fears that something like what happened to him could happen to you or your mother." He looked up at her. "He thinks he is protecting you all while he lashes out in lingering pain."

"That doesn't explain the whole Dr. Blowhole thing and the business of making and selling evil inventions, Kowalski."

"No...No it does not." He shook his head. "I didn't say he was an angel. I merely said he's not completely evil...Kind of like how I'm not all good."

"But you are a nice guy, Kowalski."

Kowalski rubbed his neck and looked away. "I'm not...Not really. The whole being good thing...That has only been the past several years since we beat Dave."

"...I don't understand."

"We used to steal, Doris. We ran over an old lady just because we didn't like her. We were purely concentrated on what would benefit us the most, not the 'greater good.'" He shook his head. "It was after Dave tried to turn penguins into monsters and have us exterminated that we decided to work for the greater good. Skipper...Skipper didn't want what almost happened to our species to happen to any other species…" He paused to chuckle. "Kind of a reverse of what happened with Francis actually if you think about it."

"Yes, but Kowalski, that's not you now. You're a _nice_ guy."

"Am I really, though?" He looked at her. "I was a total tailhole to you back when you found out about Blowhole and everything. That's not 'nice' guy behavior… That's… That's tailhole guy behavior! And...And that time I stole that circuit board from Mort's game! That wasn't nice!"

Kowalski jumped as he felt her fin on his shoulder.

"No...You were not nice in those moments, but you feel guilty about it. That's how I know you're a nice guy. You have morals...Francis...Doesn't."

"Actually, Doris...I think he does. They're just...Deeply buried and ignored. He's lost touch with his conscience."

"I don't think that helps your argument…"

"A buried conscience is better than none at all. He might be able to rediscover it with help...And an urge to want to do so."

Doris looked out at the ocean and took a deep breath. "You really think there is still good in him?"

"I do…" He smiled at her. "Skipper gave us dating rules and he's actually followed them so far."

"I'm not sure that necessarily means he still has a conscience, Kowalski."

"Maybe, maybe not...But I find it hopeful." He paused. "If anyone could convince him to be more...good, it would be you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. He misses you and I can tell that the distance between you two now since you found out, it hurts him. You're his sister, Doris. He loves you and would do probably anything for you and your mother."

Doris looked away and sighed. "Maybe…"

Kowalski reached up and stroked her fin with a soft look. "I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend when you found out about him...I was...I was too self-absorbed."

"I know...None of us were at our best that day…"

"Yeah…" He now just rested his flipper on her fin. "You're one of the few individuals I would never keep a secret from, Doris...I trust you that much...And perhaps I have unloaded too much information on you in the past when venting, but… I do want to fix our friendship. And if...And if that means I'll have to break up with Francis…" He stopped and retracted his flipper. "I...I actually don't know what I would do."

Doris looked at him. "You really like him, huh?"

"I think so…" He nodded slowly. "Being around him feels a lot like being with you...Except, well, with more chemistry."

"...He would actually understand when you ramble about your inventions—don't get me wrong, I like hearing about them, I just don't always understand."

Kowalski smiled softly. "We harmonize pretty well too. And well...I just feel kind of safe around him...despite him being a villain."

"I don't know, Kowalski...I'm still not sure this is really a healthy relationship for you. I mean, he's your enemy. How many times have you two tried to kill each other? I just...I don't see it working out. I don't want to see you, either of you, get hurt."

"Doris...I'm fairly certain my relationship with Francis has been my healthiest relationship yet. I haven't been stalking, four dates and I haven't tried proposing yet…"

"What about secret keeping? Surely you've been having to hide this relationship?"

"At first...But you can't hide something from Skipper forever. At this point, my whole team knows, and now you know too. We don't want to keep it a secret."

Doris looked down at him and sighed. "I'll...Think about it, Kowalski. It's...Really weird considering that my ex-stalker is dating my evil brother. I can't tell you yes yet...I would tell you no, but...I don't know. I really need to think about it more. I'm sorry, Kowalski."

"I understand…" He nodded, looking away. "I really screwed things up when I started mistaking appreciation for our friendship as attraction."

"No, you screwed up when you stopped listening to me telling you that I wasn't interested in being more than just friends with you...And then built a love-u-laser thingy."

Kowalski winced. "Yeah that...That was not a good idea in hindsight."

"No. It wasn't. I appreciate that you did tell me about that, but that was…" She shook her head. "It's going to take time to rebuild a friendship, Kowalski...Between both you and I, and if I decide to give Francis a second chance." She looked out at the ocean. "Mother invited him to Thanksgiving this year. I didn't tell her about what he's been doing; it would break her heart…"

"I hope you and Francis can finally talk things out. That is one reason, though, why I wanted to see you so soon...Just in case his new relationship comes up in conversation. I didn't want you to be caught by surprise."

Doris nodded and smiled a little at him. "Thank you." She leaned down and booped him with her rostrum. "Maybe after all of this is sorted out we can try being friends again."

"I would like that."

"I'll think about my decision about you and my brother, Kowalski...But I think it's time I start back towards my Mother's and you probably need to get some sleep."

Kowalski nodded with a small smile and stood up. "It was nice seeing you again, Doris. Safe travels!" He waved at her.

"Bye, Kowalski!" The dolphin waved back as she backflipped back into the water.

For a long moment, he stood and watched as she swam away, sighing as he thought about everything. It wasn't the answer he had hoped for...But the answer he had been expecting. A maybe was better than a solid no, at least. A maybe meant yes for now. He smiled slightly as he turned away from the docks and started waddling back home.


	8. Thanksgiving Plans

_**Chapter 8: Thanksgiving Plans** _

The lab door slid open and shut behind Red One as he skittered into the room. He held a clipboard in his pincers, flipping pages up to look at a calendar. "Hey Doc, I'm here with your morning reminders."

Blowhole sat aside his soldering iron and took off a pair of safety glasses. "Go on." He set the glasses on the counter and picked up a mug of coffee that had been sitting a little away from him.

"Next week is Thanksgiving with your mother and also Kowalski's birthday."

He took a sip considering this. "They're not on the same day, right?"

"No, his birthday is the day after."

Blowhole nodded slowly. "Well...Crabcakes." He took another sip. "Mm, I guess I could send him a present while I'm away."

Red One made a face and lowered the pages. "Doc, if I could offer my opinion…"

"Hmm?"

"This relationship with Kowalski is still very new, but you do want it to continue, right?"

"Well so far, yeah." He shrugged.

"Then I highly recommend against just sending him a present, Doc."

"I can't be at two places at once, Red One. There's only one of me."

Red One sighed and looked at him. "Why don't you take him with you?"

"To my Mother's Thanksgiving? HA!"

"Doc, I know it's only been four dates, but think about it."

"Red One, I have enough to worry about with my Mother. I have no idea if Doris told her about my villainy. I do not need first time boyfriend introduction stress on top of that. No thank you."

Red One skittered closer. "But Doc, Kowalski understands you. If your mother knows, he might be able to offer you support."

"I won't need support. I'll be fine."

"Sure you will, Doc...But I still think you should take Kowalski along."

Blowhole shook his head. "This was a previously planned family event, I'm sure he'll understand."

"Oh I have no doubt that he'll understand, sir. It's not like his team ever puts him first either. He's totally used to being sat to the side." He rolled his eyes. "Just think how much more he'll like being with you instead of his team if you make him feel like you took his feelings under consideration."

"Wait...You really think he would be bothered by just getting a present?" He glanced down at him.

"Oh yeah, he'll be silently crushed."

"Crabcakes." Blowhole groaned and ran a fin over his face. "Alright, fine. I'll see if he can come too." He sipped his coffee and sighed. "No idea why he would even want to."

Red One flipped up a page on his clipboard and smiled. "I might have a few ideas if you'd like to hear them."

The dolphin squinted at him but slowly nodded. "Suuure...Go ahead."

"So Thanksgiving is at an island down south from New York, right? Why not take advantage of that?" He said. "Perhaps you two could spend a couple days at one of the island beaches? It is mentioned in his file that he likes pirates, and well, I would think any of the islands along the coast may have pirate evidence tucked away. Maybe you two could look for some together. I think he'd enjoy that much more than a simple present, sir."

Blowhole quietly considered this for a long moment, sipping his coffee. Eventually he sighed. "That's actually not that bad of an idea...Been awhile since I've done any treasure hunting."

"It would give you something fun to do even if Thanksgiving itself goes against your plans."

"Careful, Red One. Thanksgiving will go according to my plans." He narrowed his eye at him. "But I will take your ideas under consideration."

"Also pie, Doc."

Blowhole now just stared at him. "What?"

"Pie. I would suggest blueberry. Kowalski likes pie. A birthday pie would take him by surprise."

"Riiiight...Like I said, I'll think about it." He sighed and rolled his eye. "Was that all of the reminders?"

Red One flipped back to the calendar. "I think that's all."

"Then you're dismissed. Thank you."

"Let me know if you decide to bring him along so I know how many bunks to have prepared in the sub." He smiled and skittered to the door.

"Not a big worry. I could literally open a small storage compartment and tuck him in there to sleep."

Red One made a face and shook his head as he left the room. Blowhole just chuckled to himself as he rolled over to his computer. He shook the mouse to wake it before clicking for a video call with Kowalski. He sat his coffee down to the side.

"Hello?" Kowalski came onto the screen.

"Oh good you are done with morning training."

"Yeah, we just came inside. So what's up?"

Blowhole tapped his rostrum. "Do you have your schedule handy?"

"Uh, I can get it." Kowalski ducked down from the camera's view for a moment, then he re-surfaced with his clipboard. He flipped to his calendar. "Okay, I have it."

"Are you busy November 27th through the 30th?"

"Not really. Or at least, nothing that is set in stone." He shook his head. "Why?"

"Well...If you think you could convince Skipper to let you have those days off, or at least can leave the night of the 27th, I thought if you wanted you could tag along with me when I go to my pod for Thanksgiving."

Kowalski blinked and considered this. "You're...You're ready for me to meet your family?"

"Ready is a strong term, but with your birthday being the next day-"

"Francis, you really don't have to worry about that." He smiled at him softly. "I already said you didn't need to do anything for my birthday."

"I know," he nodded. "But I was thinking, you could use a little vacation. You've been through some stress lately between me and Skipper and that chicken. The barrier islands around where my pod is meeting are bound to have some pirate treasure or wrecked ships nearby and I thought it might be fun for us to investigate...You do like pirates, didn't you?"

Kowalski nodded slowly with widened eyes. "A treasure hunt vacation?" He gasped. "Oh my cod that would be amazing. Especially a pirate treasure hunt."

"However, you'll need to convince Skipper to let you have some time off." He paused. "Of course, I could always kidnap you, but I doubt that would go over very well."

"Yeah…" He looked back towards the door. "Give me a few minutes, I'll ask him."

"I'll just wait here." He nodded and watched as Kowalski left his view. He leaned back for a moment thoughtfully. "Or maybe I won't." He clicked a few buttons on his keyboard and then smirked as his camera view changed from Kowalski's lab to the main room of the penguin HQ. Now he could watch the conversation himself.

Kowalski approached Skipper and cleared his throat. "Sir."

Skipper looked up from the ship in a bottle model he was working on with a sigh. "What?"

"I would like to request leave time from November 27th trough the 30th." He tapped his flipper tips together. "Please."

A nonexistent brow raised. "Why?"

"Francis has invited me to spend the weekend with him and accompany him to meet his family."

"Leave request denied."

"But Skipper!"

Skipper gave him a look. "We may have a mission come up. That's too many days to go without having everyone at flipper."

Blowhole himself rolled his eyes. "What? You can't make your own options for a couple days?"

The two penguin heads turned to look at the TV. Skipper narrowed his eyes. "Get off our TV, Blowhole."

"Oh I will, but not until after this discussion reaches a favorable ending." He smirked.

Skipper crossed his flippers. "It's already reached a good ending to me."

"Oh but not to me and Kowalski it has not." He pressed his fins together thoughtfully. "Why don't you think about it from this perspective, Skipper. While Kowalski is away, there won't be any inventions going haywire. No lab explosions. Just quiet time for you and whatever you do in your free time."

Kowalski frowned slightly at this.

"Nice try, villainous scum. I'm not falling for you kidnapping my lieutenant."

"No, kidnapping your lieutenant is plan B." Blowhole rolled his eye. "We were attempting to go through the proper procedure and follow your stupid rules. When's the last time you let Kowalski get a break from you and your insults? Give him a few days to relax and he'll return a new peng-u-in."

"That's part of the problem. He'll return indoctrinated by you."

"We're visiting my pod, Skipper. That is a villainy-free zone. I am not a villain twenty-four-seven. Sheesh."

Skipper squinted at him. "...Fine." He finally sighed. "But he better come back in one piece."

"No worries, I will, as I have, return your precious little lieutenant unharmed and a little happier." He nodded. "I'll meet him at the docks after the zoo has closed on the 27th. Will that work for you?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes.

Kowalski smiled and went to hug Skipper, but the flat-head stepped to the side.

"Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it. I'll-"

Skipper held up a flipper. "Yeah, you're welcome, just get the dolphin off my tv." He sighed.

"I'll talk with you later, Kowalski." Blowhole winked before switching off from the television screen. He then leaned back and crossed his fins behind his head with a chuckle. "Yep, so far everything's going to plan."


	9. Vacation Begins

_**Chapter 9: Vacation Begins** _

A few days later, Kowalski with a small duffel bag in tow waddled down the docks towards Francis's submarine. His little tail wagged ever few steps with his only semi-restrained excitement. It had been way too long since his last vacation with his team, and even those vacations always turned into a mission or stranded them in Hoboken. He certainly had never been on a vacation without his brothers, unless his time in the petting zoo nursery counted.

Kowalski adjusted the strap over his shoulder and texted Francis that he was outside. Moments later a door opened and a small ramp extended onto the dock. He waddled up and inside and the sub closed up behind him.

"What'd you pack? Your teammates?"

He looked over at Francis and shook his head. "Nope. But I did bring a metal detector, my travel tool set, phone charger, medical kit, a couple disguises just in case, holy water pistol, laser pen, memory eraser pen, my clipboard, pencils, phone." He paused to think. "Some string, headlamp, a spade, umbrella, my pillow, Penelo—That's it."

Francis obviously fought to keep a straight face. "Oh, Oh I see." He chuckled and tried to cover it up with clearing his throat. "What about a kitchen sink?"

"I did not bring a sink. That would still be back with Rico."

"Oh you idiot." He then cackled, shaking his head. "I could have provided you with most of that, should the need have arisen."

"Well how was I supposed to know that?! It's not like you ever told me what I should bring!"

"I did tell you what to bring! You!"

"Well I did at least bring that!"

"I see that!"

Kowalski curtly nodded and waddled past him. "So...Where should I put my bag?"

"Oh just wherever, or you can pass it to Red One to be put with the bunks." He shrugged.

"That works." He nods and carefully hands his bag to the lobster. "So what now?

Francis glanced at him. "It's going to take several hours to get to the swimming segment of our journey."

"Huh?"

"We aren't taking the sub up to the pod. My robotic eye covering is weird enough to them; I'm not going to startle them with a submarine. Ergo, we will depart the sub a few miles away. While we're with my family, Red One is taking the sub to rendezvous with one of my agents and will meet us later on at the island I'm planning for us to explore."

"Oh." He nods and ponders this for a moment. "...If you aren't comfortable with them seeing your robotic eye, I may be able to help with some cover u—"

"— _NO!_ " He spun and snapped at him before taking a deep breath and closing his eye. "No, thank you. I will be fine as I am. They have all seen it before," he says more softly.

"Noted…" Kowalski cleared his throat. "My apologies."

"I'm not—It's fine, Jan." He sighed. "Just a sensitive topic."

The penguin nodded with a gentle smile. "I understand." He looked away. "Speaking of sensitive topics though...There is something we need to discuss."

"Oh?" He bent down closer to him.

"Yes...I didn't really like how I told you I would be back on the video chat the other day and then you hacked into the television." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "It really bothered Skipper. I do really appreciate how you assisted with Skipper, but I would have preferred if you had stayed on my laptop and perhaps waited for me to bring you to Skipper?"

Francis looked down at him for a long moment before slowly nodding. "I suppose that is a fair complaint."

"I understand old habits die hard, but…"

"I will try to keep this mind in the future, yes." He nods.

"Thank you." He smiled at him. "And there was one other thing…"

"Yes?"

"I know you were trying to word things in a way to convince Skipper...But I didn't like how you brought up my inventing mishaps." He ran his flipper over his head feathers, smoothing them down, avoiding eye contact. "I know I'm being overly sensitive, but...It hurt me hearing you frame it in that way."

Francis frowned slightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't. I also know I should be used to hearing about the trouble my experiments cause everyone—"

"Hey, hey, hey, I never said you caused anyone trouble." He gently put his flipper on Kowalski's shoulder and Kowalski looked up at him. "I simply said there would be no explosions or haywire inventions. It happens to every inventor, a fact of the trade."

Kowalski still just looked at him.

"You think you're the only inventor who stares failure in the face? What about a villain who has yet to conquer the world because his plans keep failing, eh?"

"I...I never thought about...Huh." He blinked.

"I'm not bothered by my failures because I know then what _didn't_ work so I can figure out how to improve for the next time. It's all part of experimenting. However, I know I don't have a Skipper rubbing my face in it constantly. I know that must hurt." He rubbed his flipper down his back. "I know we've had this chat before, but I think failures and all your inventions are pretty good for what you've had to work with and your work environment."

Kowalski's feathers rustled and he looked away, flustered. "Thank you, Francis."

"Any time, Mittens." He winked at him.

"Oh hush," He giggled and softly shoved him away. "You flirtatious bottlenose."

"Hey, it made you laugh. That counts for something." He chuckled and leaned up straight. "Now, why don't we have a little movie marathon to pass some hours?"

"What did you have in mind?"

The dolphin tapped his rostrum thoughtfully. "No idea. Maybe something sci-fi?"

"Like _Star Trek_ or the _Alien-Predator_ films? Or _Star Wars_? _5th Wave_?"

"Well, Professor Sci-Fi, what would you suggest?" He began to roll towards a doorway and Kowalski followed him.

"I'm always down for _Star Trek_ , but you'd honestly probably enjoy the _Alien_ or _Predator_ films more. You do love your horror flicks."

"Alright, then we'll watch that. Are there multiple films?"

"Oh yeah, several. It'll keep us busy for sure and I doubt we'll see them all before it's time to leave the sub." He chuckled.

" _Niiiice_."


	10. Just Keep Swimming

_**Chapter 10: Just Keep Swimming** _

Blowhole looked over at the door from the movie as he heard a knock. He picked up the remote and paused it. "Enter."

Red One poked his head into the room. "We've made it to the swim zone, Doc."

"Alright. We'll drop by the break room shortly."

"The fish will be there." The lobster nodded before leaving.

Blowhole then looked down at the penguin sound asleep against him and nudged him. "Hey. Wake up."

Kowalski rubbed his head into his side with a mumble. "Not 'sleep."

"Not asleep, eh?" He poked him again. "Then why are your eyes closed?"

"Mmhm shhh." He shook his head, swatting weakly upwards.

The dolphin raised a brow. "Come on. Wake up. There's coffee in the break room."

Kowalski blinked and tiredly glared at him. "Ugghh." He sat up and stretched, looking around and rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?" He yawned.

"It's a quarter till five." He turned off the movie. "If you don't drink coffee, what _do_ you drink in the mornings?"

"I guess tea if I did, but I usually just grab a fish and go." He stood up and stretched some more.

"Well, you're going to want the caffeine boost. We have a few miles of swimming ahead of us and you haven't slept much."

Kowalski squinted at him. "I think I slept more than you."

"Oh I napped a few times through the night. Benefits of being able to alternate what side of the brain rests. You rarely have to actually lay down and sleep."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, rub it in." He glanced around for his bag and waddled over to it. "Anything I should bring with me?"

"Yes, but it's not anything you brought with you. I'll give it to you before we leave." He hopped onto his Segway. "Now, come on. A quick breakfast and we're off."

* * *

After their quick bite, the two were standing in a special pressurized room of the submarine. Blowhole rolled over to the wall where he parked his Segway and locked it into a holder. He then picked up a small dark blue diving mask from a shelf and held it out towards Kowalski.

"You're going to be swimming with dolphins. I did the math. Your tiny lungs otherwise will need to come up for oxygen far more often than us. This will help reduce your need for that. We may be under the water for fifteen minutes or so and in that time you'd have had to take three trips to the surface. It has a built in oxygen tank that refills each time you surface, but it holds up to thirty minutes worth to be on the safe side. This way you can surface as we do." He turned it around and looked at it. "See the little blowhole at the top? You'll fit right in. I tried to design it to be as light and unobtrusive as possible, but I suppose you'll have to be the judge on how well I did on that."

He watched as the penguin took the mask and tried it on. He frowned slightly before motioning for him to step closer. He then bent down and adjusted the fitting. "Okay. Say something, please."

"Testing, 1 2 3."

Blowhole looked at him. "Of all the things...You really are a dork, you know that?" He rolled his eye. "Anyway, I can hear you and that's what counts. How does it feel?"

"Not bad actually. It'll take a little getting used to, but it's more comfortable than the oxygen helmets I made for our space and deep sea missions." Kowalski nodded. "Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem." He scooted along to a panel of buttons. "If you drowned trying to hold your breath as long as a dolphin, that would make for a rather sucky vacation, don't you think?"

"I would think so, yeah. I would like to survive past my birthday."

"How old are you turning anyhow? Thirty-seven?" He glanced over at him.

Kowalski scowled, waddling closer. "I'll be thirty-five. I'm not _that_ old."

"Hey, thirty-seven isn't old." He looked over the buttons. "Move closer to that trapdoor."

"That's how old you are, right? I knew you were older than Skipper and me." He stepped over to the hatch.

"Yeah. Alright, when I press this, that's going to open and water is going to begin to pour into the room. Once the current is fightable, we'll dive. Red Seven notified me earlier that a boat had been spotted in the area or we would have hopped out closer to the surface. I'm just not feeling the mood to deal with humans today. You know?"

"Fair." He nodded. "Not a problem. I've had worse dives."

"Oh?" He pressed the button and the hatch opened, water spewing into the room.

"Oh yeah, try being deep underwater in Antarctic waters, surrounded by leopard seals who just cracked your windshield. Then having to figure out how to launch Julien to the surface so he didn't drown..." He rolled his eyes.

"Torpedo?"

"Yep."

Blowhole nodded and snailed his way over to the hatch. He watched the water carefully. "A little more and we can dive."

"You sure? I think this current is a little strong for my size…"

"If it's too much, just hold on to me." He looked down as he felt Kowalski's flipper grab on to his and blinked. That wasn't exactly what he had meant. He then sighed and pulled him up by the flipper. "Alright, fine. Hold on the dorsal fin." He held him up until Kowalski grabbed on. He then laid down on his belly and took a deep breath before pushing off and diving down into the water.

Kowalski's grip only slightly slipped as he cut through the wall of incoming water. Of course, Blowhole's corkscrew spin probably didn't help his grip, but it did help get through the current and out into the open water. Free of the current, Kowalski let go of his dorsal fin and swam beside him to the surface.

Blowhole surfaced first, blowing a quick spurt of water just as Kowalski popped up.

"You know, if I wasn't wearing this, that would have been in my face."

"Not my fault you have bad timing." He then looked around. "Okay, yeah, I know where we are. A little deeper in the ocean than I planned, but that's fine." He turned to Kowalski. "How's your swimming?"

Kowalski squinted at him. "What sort of question is that? I'm a penguin, aren't I?"

"A peng-u-in who barely knows how to peng-u-in. How am I supposed to know how much open ocean swimming you've done?"

"Not much, but I can swim just as well as any other adelie. We do swim training."

"Alright, alright, chill out Sailfish." He rolled his eye. "Just...Don't leave me behind in your bubbles, 'kay?"

Kowalski looked at him, tilting his head to the side slightly. "Why would I…?"

Blowhole just shrugged. "I haven't swam much in a while. Just...Putting that out there." He cleared his throat.

"Oh."

"Anyway, we're swimming this way." He pointed forward and leaped forward in the water. Kowalski nodded and porpoised after him.

They swim in this fashion for a while until Blowhole starts hearing a familiar, foreboding sound a little further out in the ocean. The next time they surfaced, he was frowning. "Stay right here for a moment, I need to check something."

"Wait wha-?"

However, he didn't wait to hear Kowalski's full question before diving back into the water and swimming towards the more open waters. He clicked and listened for a reply. His eye widened slightly as he received a reply and he quickly swam back to Kowalski and surfaced. "We need to move faster."

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing to worry about yet. This is merely precautionary. Come on." He nudged him forward with his rostrum, glancing back towards the ocean with a grimace.

As they continued onward, Blowhole kept Kowalski within his view except for the brief moments when he dove deeper to echolocate.

"Okay, I think we're in the clear." He sighed, surfacing this last time. "I didn't hear them."

"Hear who?"

Blowhole looked at him and shook his head. "Nothing important." However, he still didn't feel at ease himself as they swam again. The sound had sounded so close before, and even gaining for a while, and now the ocean was so silent?

_Unless-_

" _ **FRANCIS**_!"


	11. Snack Time

_**Chapter 11: Snack Time** _

At the shout, Blowhole abruptly stopped and turned around, just in time to see the flick of a large black and white tail fluke diving beneath the waves. It took a second for him to register the situation before quickly shaking the feeling away.

"CRAB CAKES." He swore before baring his teeth and diving after the orca.

The orca himself was about twice Blowhole's size and was not giving him any notice as he swam further from the shore. From Blowhole's vantage point, he couldn't see Kowalski at all. Baring his teeth again, he dove deeper than the orca before sharply turning and swimming full throttle upwards. He rammed the orca's midsection.

"Spit him out!"

The orca merely clenched his jaw and growled back, smacking at him with his long flipper.

Dazed, Blowhole floated back for a second before using the distance to get enough velocity to ram the killer whale again. "I said _SPIT HIM OUT, TAILHOLE_."

However, as the orca continued to ignore him, he bit his flipper with a growl. This finally got his attention and even caused him to open his mouth just enough for one panicked penguin to escape and shoot by. Now the orca turned and looked at Blowhole, baring his teeth.

"You want a fight over a snack, bottlenose? Stay out of my way or you'll be the main course," he snarled.

"Why don't we skip dinner and go straight to dessert? I'd suggest trying the tailwhip." Blowhole then smacked him in the face with his tail fluke, grinning viciously.

The orca grunted before shaking it off and chasing after him. "You're through."

"Oh, am I?" He chuckled, leaping up from the water, back-flipping over the orca as he spun. He then dove down behind him. "I think you bit off more than you could chew." He instantly turned and rammed the orca again from below. However, this time before he could distance himself for another attack, he felt teeth sink into his tail fluke and gasped. "RUDE." He thrashed around, trying to shake himself loose from his jaws.

"Hey!"

Blowhole looked over to see Kowalski swim up and smack the killer whale with his clipboard.

"I thought you were wanting a piece of this?" He gestured to himself and wagged his tail at him. "Why don't you drop the salty dolphin?"

Blowhole looked around as smacked at the orca still himself. His eye narrowed at a cluster of rocks near the shore, a little deeper. "KOWALSKI!" He pointed towards it.

Kowalski followed his rostrum pointing and then nodded, smirking at the orca. "Just one little penguin delicacy right here. Who knows when you might see another around here. We're not usually this far north, you know? Would be a shame to miss out on the taste of this." He swam in front of the orca and slashed at his rostrum with his talons.

The killer whale slung Blowhole away before swimming after Kowalski who led him directly towards the rocks. The penguin darted through an arch. The orca followed after him, but the archway was just a little too snug of a fit for him and he found himself stuck. Kowalski then swam back to Blowhole, practically headbutting him with a hug.

Blowhole grunted slightly and looked down at him. "Were you _that_ worried about a little bite?"

"No...Just...Can we go? Can you still swim?" the penguin asked, face hidden and voice shaking.

He looked down at him, at his quivering form that clung to him with a death grip. "...Yeah, I don't think he got me that bad. We're not that far from my pod anyway."

"Good." Kowalski released him, still keeping his face averted from him as he turned away. However, Blowhole caught his flipper before he could swim away.

"Hold on," he frowned. "You're upset."

"I WAS JUST EATEN BY A—" He shouted before catching himself, shivering more with watery eyes. "I was almost swallowed whole again!" He swallowed, shaking his head, blinking back tears. "I hate it. I hate it, I hate it."

Blowhole pulled him close again. "Hey, it's okay. It's over. You're okay." He stroked down his back, frowning as he thought about this. "Deep breaths, buddy."

"...Can't. I'll run out of oxygen…"

"Oh, right." He held him close with one flipper as he paddled up to the surface. Once there, he let him go. "Now, deep breath. We can talk about this more later if it'll help, but we should really get a move on before he gets free."

Kowalski nodded, briefly lifting the oxygen helmet to wipe his eyes with the back of his flipper. "Yeah…"

Blowhole nodded before scooping him up onto his head. "Why don't you ride up there for now? Just in case."

"Okay…" He scrambled back towards his dorsal fin and clung to it.

After a few minutes of silence, Blowhole glanced back at him. "How bad does it look?"

"Your bite?"

"Yeah."

Kowalski inched his way down his back down to his tail. He then looked back at him. "Well, you are bleeding...But it isn't as bad as it could be. Puncture wounds." He took out his clipboard and opened it, taking out a small med kit. "I can wrap it."

"Is it bleeding that bad?"

"Well...No, but it may help less bacteria get in. Really would suck to get a gangrene tail and have to have it amputated."

Blowhole made a face as he continued to swim forward. "I believe the odds of needing my tail amputated from a little orca bite infinitely small, Kowalski."

"But there is still a chance!"

"If it'll make you feel better, fine, wrap it." He rolled his eye, shaking his head. He then sharply inhaled as it started to burn. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST WRAPPING IT?"

"I had some disinfectant, too."

Blowhole took a deep breath, baring his teeth. " _Fine_." He gritted out. "Hurry up, will you?"

"Oh, hold your seahorses, Bottlenose. I'm almost done." He snipped the bandage from the roll with his beak and put the roll back into his clipboard. He tied the end in and inched his way back up his back to his dorsal fin. "Okay, you're good."

"Great, thanks. Now, why don't you put your helmet on and swim some more?" He glanced back at him. "We're getting close to the pod and I'm not swimming in looking like a peng-u-in's noble steed."

"Oh, you're my noble steed? In that case—" Kowalski stood up on his back, holding his helmet high above his head. "HI-YO, DOLPH-UH-IN, AWAY!"

Blowhole stopped swimming abruptly. "That's it, I'm bucking you."

"NO!" He squealed and clung to the fin. "I WAS JOKING."

"DO I SOUND LIKE I'M IN A JOKING MOOD?"

"NO YOU SOUND MAD."

"I'M NOT MAD. I'M HURTING AND—"

"—Nervous?"

Blowhole went silent for a second before snorting. "No. I'm not nervous. Not at all nervous. Why in Neptune's name would I be nervous?"

"Riiiight, right." Kowalski slipped the helmet on before diving from the dolphin's back. He bobbed up beside him. "My bad, but the more you declare how not nervous you are, the more I think you're nervous. It's perfectly acceptable to be nervous, Francis."

"I'm not nervous!"

Kowalski patted the side of his head. "It's okay."

"Oh Neptune." He rolled his eye and gently shoved him away. He looked ahead of them. "Hey, I see dolphins up ahead...Want to race me to the cove?"

"Oh you're _on_ , Bottlenose."

Blowhole jumped ahead of him. "Later, Loser~"


	12. Meeting the Family

_**Chapter 12: Meeting the Family** _

The two porpoised for the cove. Francis at first held the lead before Kowalski shot past him with a smirk.

"I'm sorry, who's the loser now, Bottlenose?" He looked back over his shoulder as he raced forward. However, that was when he noticed Francis suddenly pull up and try to slow down. Kowalski looked forward and his eyes quickly widened as he realized he was not going to be able to stop himself in time. Regardless, he too tried to slow down, but still collided with a large dolphin in his path.

Francis winced as he watched before swimming over.

Kowalski, rubbing his head, looked up at the dolphin with a very apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry, I uh...didn't see you there, sir—" The dolphin turned and narrowed her eyes at him. "—MADAM."

"You shouldn't swim so quickly if you can't see, _duck_ ," she growled, before she noticed Francis swimming up. "Well. If it isn't Lois's son. I should have known."

"Aunt Floris, pleasure to see you as always," he said through a gritted smile as he reached forward and pulled Kowalski over to himself. "Sorry about that, we were just seahorsing around."

"Aren't you a little old to be seahorsing like a calf, Francis? Then again, I shouldn't be surprised." She rolled her eyes. "But you and your little friend should be more observant. The duck's beak is sharper than the beaver's." She frowned and rubbed her side.

Kowalski darted behind Francis.

"That would be because he's not a duck. He's a penguin, Aunt Floris, and Parker is a platypus, not a beaver."

"Oh whatever, you and your little terrestrial pals. Non-dolphin partners."

Francis blinked for a moment. "PARKER AND I WERE NEVER PARTNERS!"

"Well, you could have fooled me with how you kept bringing him along."

"Dear Neptune," he groaned, rubbing a flipper down his face. "No. He's just a friend."

"And the duck?"

Francis sighed and shifted over enough to reveal Kowalski. "Aunt Floris, this is my boyfriend, Kowalski. Kowalski, my aunt."

"I'll never understand you and your sister's fascination with dating tiny terrestrials." Floris shook her head.

"That's okay, Aunt Floris, you don't have to." He then smirked as he turned away, shepherding Kowalski past her. "Not every dolphin has to be a genius." The two then quickly swam away.

Once they were at a safe distance, Kowalski looked at Francis and sighed. "Perhaps I should hang back a little…"

"Wha-why?" The other looked at him weirdly. "No, just stay close to me and you'll be fine. Don't worry about what Aunt Floris said; trust me, no one else does." He patted his head.

"I addressed her as _sir_ , Francis!"

"Not your fault it's hard to tell a dolphin from behind. You'll be fiiiiiine, just trust me, alright?"

"Alright." He sighed, nodding. He took a moment to look around, at all of the dolphins surrounding them and smoothed his wet feathers down. Nope. He did not need to look around too much, bad idea. Too many pretty dolphins. He then grabbed Francis's flipper with an awkward smile.

Francis glanced down from where he also was looking around. "Still don't see Doris or Mother yet, but they should be here somewhere. It's impossible that I would have beat them here."

"Want me to try looking from a higher vantage point?"

"You know...That's not a bad idea." He then poked his head under the water and surfaced with Kowalski on his head and held himself up from the water as high as he could. "You know Doris, right? Like, what she looks like?"

"Yeah…" He nodded with a grimace. He knew what she looked like alright. He cupped his flippers around his eye as a makeshift telescope and carefully checked the crowd. "Ah! 5 o'clock."

Francis squinted upwards. "What?"

"You know, 5 o'clock?" He leaned down, making eye contact. "As in the clock based directions? If you're facing noon-"

"Oh, yeah yeah, I get you now. Thanks." He turned and swam that way, keeping the top of his head above water.

As they approached Doris and Francis's mother, Kowalski's chest felt tight. He knew there was no way he could escape this encounter, and although he had already told Doris of his relationship with her brother, he did not feel ready to see her with him. Not yet.

But ready or not, it was going to happen, and it was going to happen in mere moments.

Kowalski took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Didn't work, but he'd just have to fake feeling calm. He looked down at Francis and reminded himself he was here for Francis, not for himself or Doris. He needed to set his nerves aside in case Francis required support for his own anxiety. He could do this.

Francis's mother was the first to notice them. She gasped and patted Doris and pointed at them. "FRANNY! IT'S MY FRANNY!"

Kowalski felt Francis wince as he swam up to them. He then slipped down into the water beside him as he felt Doris's piercing gaze. Nope. Not looking back at her.

"Mother. Doris." Francis nodded to them. "We're not too late, are we?"

"Late? Of course not! You know the party doesn't start until we are all together." She chuckled, pulling him into a hug. She then pulled him closer as she noticed his tail. "Franny! What happened?!"

"What?" He looked back. "Oh nothing much. Crossed paths with an orca, but I'm fine. It was a small bite."

His mother just looked at him for a moment before sighing and rubbing his back. "Well I'm glad to hear it was only a nibble." She then noticed Kowalski and gasped again. "Oh! I thought you were bringing your little platypus friend again."

"Nah, he was busy this year." He pulled away from her. "Mother, this is Kowalski."

Kowalski sheepishly smiled and attempted a bow. "Hello." He cleared his throat. "Might I say it's an honor to meet you, Mrs. Francis's-and-Doris's-Mother."

The older dolphin giggled and shook her head. "Please, call me Lois, dear." She looked at Francis. "Sooo is he just a friend or…?"

"He's my boyfriend."

"About time!" She smiled widely. "I was starting to worry you were never going to consider settling down. For how long?!"

The two nerds exchanged a silent look before Francis responded. "Uhhhh...Since September?"

"Our first date was August 30th."

"Oh yeah, because you….Yeah. That's right. I was thinking about our second date." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Our second date was in October, Francis."

"Wait, really?" He looked at him. "Oh. Huh. Go figure."

Lois smiled as she listened to them before looking over at Doris and pulling her over. "I'm so happy! Both of my babies are home and they both brought their boyfriends!"

"Oh?"

Doris forced a tense smile at them. "Yeah...Harry will be back in a minute. He got caught up chatting with Kurtis and Ferris."

Francis gave her a look. "Talking or _talking_?" He said with flipper air quotes.

"...Hopefully the former."

"Maybe you should call him over, dear, so we can eat?" Lois suggested, gently nudging her forward. "I spent hours earlier today herding together enough jellyfish for today. I'd like for us to eat them before they escape the little cave I stashed them in." She then paused and looked at them. "Oh dear, can octopuses and…" She looked at Kowalski thoughtfully. "And Kowalskis have jellyfish?"

"Harry loves jellyfish, Mother." Doris nodded.

"I think I can eat jellyfish?" Kowalski said thoughtfully. "I've never tried it but it sounds delightful."

"Do you like spicy food?" Francis nudged him.

"Yeah?"

"Good. Then you'll like jellyfish. They're zingy."

Lois sighed with relief. "Oh thank Neptune. Okay, Doris baby, go get Harry and meet us over at the little cave. We're going to go ahead that way, okay?"

Doris nodded and swam off and Kowalski sighed his own relief. So far, this was going surprisingly well. Perhaps they had been nervous about nothing.


	13. We Need to Talk

_**Chapter 13: We Need to Talk** _

Three dolphins, a peng-u-in, and an octopus dining on jellyfish. Blowhole was certain there had to be weirder family gatherings somewhere, but even he had to admit this was unique.

If anyone had asked him before now, he would have never thought he would be the one bringing a penguin to their family Thanksgiving. Though of course, Kowalski was not the first penguin that had caught his attention, but he never would have brought the other to meet his family. To be honest, he hadn't brought any boy or girl friends over to Thanksgiving since... _ever_. He had only brought Parker along because he was a close friend and he didn't want him to spend the holidays alone.

At least until Parker had decided to start having other plans for Thanksgiving, which was fine. Blowhole had been fully prepared to go alone, especially after skipping last year after him and Doris had their falling out. But he had to admit...He was kind of glad he had brought Kowalski along.

He was awkward without question. It wasn't hard to tell that Kowalski was anxious to do or say the wrong thing in front of Doris and their Mother, but his mistakes were amusing and helped undercut some of the tension he himself felt about the upcoming conversations.

For a moment, Blowhole watched as Kowalski struggled to catch a small jellyfish that wasn't keen on being eaten before shaking his head and swimming over. He shepherded it back towards the penguin before looking over at Doris and Harry. Harry was oblivious, but he made eye contact with Doris. Apparently, she had been watching them.

_Better get this out of the way instead of prolonging it any longer._

He then swam towards her with a solemn expression. "Hey Doris...Can we talk?"

Doris studied him for a moment before nodding and looking away. "Yeah…" She swam up close to the surface and he followed her. She then turned towards him. "I didn't tell Mother, if that's what you're wanting to know."

"...It was, but it wasn't the only thing." He sighed. "I'm sorry that you had to find out about my double life the way you did. I don't know why you were there, why the penguins dragged you into our fighting, but that wasn't how I would have wanted you to see me."

"The penguins didn't drag me into anything, Francis. I asked for their help when Parker told me you were back in Seaville. I knew Kowalski and his friends could help get you out, and they did…" Her voice trailed off and she looked away. "I just couldn't believe it…"

Blowhole quietly listened to her, nodding slightly. "Someone needed to stand up for us, Doris."

"Plotting human genocide is standing up for us?! Francis! Do you hear yourself?! This isn't you! This isn't my brother."

"Doris...It is me." He shook his head. "I knew you wouldn't understand. I'm doing this to protect you, and Mother, and every other animal out there that humans subjugate and maim every year. They don't care how they treat us; why should we care what happens to them?"

"If you kill them all, you're no better than they are."

"I never said I was better than them. I'm giving them a taste of their own actions."

"And you think that will make things better?" She squinted at him. "You were going to drown the world. You would have murdered far more than just humans, Francis. It's completely mad!"

"Mad? Oh I'm mad alright. I've been mad since that ... _That…_ " His flipper shook and clenched by his side.

"That day with the hoop?"

Blowhole turned away, clenching his flipper tighter. "Ye-ah...Every day, I see myself and it's just a constant reminder of human cruelty. They don't deserve to continue."

"But that's not for you to decide, Francis…" She gently stroked his back. "I know they hurt you, Francis. It hurt all of us when you were taken away...But this...This isn't right, and you know it. That's why you kept it hidden from us, because you _know_ it's wrong."

"So?"

"Two wrongs don't make a right," she sighed. "Tell Mother what you've been doing."

Blowhole squinted at her. "Why? She'd never—It would—"

"She'd never approve? It would break her heart? Yes, and yes. That's why _you_ should tell her. You know you're wrong or else you would have told her before now."

"...And what if I don't tell her?"

Doris retracted her flipper from his back. "Then I will never talk to you again. I don't like the dolphin you've become, Francis. This Blowhole whatever, he's not my brother. I'm not going to associate with my brother's imposter."

Blowhole glanced at her.

"And I know my brother is still there, hiding behind that Dr. Maniac." She rubbed her upper flipper with a conflicted expression. "I saw him a couple times when you were playing with Kowalski."

"I told you, Dr. Blowhole is me, just as much as Francis is."

"No, he's not." She looked at him. "And as hesitant as I am to see you and Kowalski together, knowing your good and evil disputes...I have to admit, I like the you that you are when you're with him. It's like seeing the old you...And...And I've missed him."

"I don't know what to say, Doris. Francis as you knew him...He's changed. Seaville burned him."

"You can say that all you want, but I've seen Francis, or else I wouldn't have believed it myself if someone else had suggested it." She crossed her flippers. "You just have to let him heal instead of torturing him with so much guilt."

Blowhole rolled his eye. "I don't feel guilty."

"Then tell Mother."

"Fine," he sighed, turning towards her again. "I'll tell her." He paused. "But while I do, can you keep an eye on Kowalski?"

"Oh yeah, I'll send Harry with him." She smiled at him.

Blowhole looked hesitant, but nodded. "Alright. Hopefully this won't take long." He breached the surface for a moment to take a deep breath before diving down and looking for where their mother had gone. He spotted her chatting with Kowalski and Harry and swam over.

"Oh, Franny, there you are. We were just wondering where you and Doris went." Lois smiled.

"We were talking." He nodded, watching as Doris swam over to the other two. "She's going to show Kowalski and Harry around for a bit."

"Yep, we're going to meet some of the rest of the family." Doris nodded, nudging their boyfriends away. "Come on, you two!"

Blowhole then rubbed the back of his neck. "Mother...I...I need to tell you something. You're not going to like it."

Lois gave him her full attention, allowing a jellyfish to swim away. "Go on."

"I've been living a double life. I know you know I'm an inventor, however you don't know about my villainy."

"...Villainy?"

Blowhole looked at her, then away. "Under the name Dr. Blowhole I have been—"

"You... _You're_ Dr. Blowhole?" She bit her lower lip.

"You've heard of him?"

Lois clenched her flippers together. "I've heard about a dolphin trying to drown the world here and there. I overheard some lobsters once trying to convince another to work for him. I...I never thought... _Oh dear Neptune_."

"Mother." Blowhole gently laid his flipper on hers. "It hasn't been without reason."

"The reason being revenge?"

"...Part of many, yes."

"Francis, sweetheart..." She pulled him in for a hug and held him close, just shaking her head.

Blowhole's brow furrowed at this. "Uh...?"

"I'm sorry, baby." She said softly. "I should have been there…"

"...Mother? What are you…?"

"I should have gone with you and Doris to the clearing that day like I told Doris I would." She sniffed. "Maybe, maybe if I had, you wouldn't have been taken and you wouldn't feel like you had to do this for us."

"No, no it's not your fault, Mother. It's the humans." He looked at her with a widened eye.

"It might not be, but at least you wouldn't have been hurt, baby." She held his face in her flippers with a saddened expression. "I was so happy to see you alive when that platypus helped you escape...But it hurts me that they hurt you so badly. I know you mean well…"

"But?"

"But you know you can't flood the world, sweetie." She shook her head. "If for no other reason than it's illogical." She gave him a look.

Blowhole looked at her. "What."

"Sweetie, what are you going to breathe when you've drowned the trees?"

"...You're the second to bring trees to my attention."

"Well, oxygen is kind of important to those who breathe air, baby." She sighed and kissed his melon. "There are also some good humans."

Blowhole squinted at her, beginning to pull away.

"A couple summers ago, I beached." Lois gently ran her flipper over his robotic eye-piece. "If it wasn't for kind-hearted humans helping me, I would have died there. I know there are many bad ones, Franny, but they're not all bad. Many just don't know what's going on. Do those really deserve the same fate as the bad ones? Would that be just?"

"...Perhaps not...But I'm sure they deserve it for other reasons."

"Maybe, maybe not, but Francis, it's just not right. If for no other reason, think of their little ones. The babies aren't guilty of anything and they're funny to watch flopping on the water with their little floaty things."

Blowhole sighed and looked away. "I guess I see your point, Mother."

"So you know what you need to do?" She held his shoulders with a soft smile.

"I know what you and Doris want...And I will think about it."

"Good. That's all I ask, Francis." She pulled him close again and kissed his cheek. "I love you and I know you'll do what you think is right."

"...Love you, too…" He murmured, his brow still pensively furrowed.


	14. Cupcake

_**Chapter 14: Cupcake** _

"Over there? That's Aunt Candis and her current mate, Davis." Doris smiled, gesturing over. "She's Mother's sister."

"...So Floris's sister, too?" Kowalski looked over.

"Not really. Candis and Mother had the same father. Mother and Floris had the same mother. Candis helped Mother with both Francis and me when we were babies."

"Heh, I feel like I should be taking notes." He rubbed the back of his neck.

Doris chuckled. "I'm sure Francis could give you notes for if he brings you again next year."

"...Next year?" He looked at her with surprise. "You think we'll...You're okay with…?" He gestured vaguely with his flipper.

"'Okay with' is a strong phrase but...Yeah." She sighed with a tiny smile. "You're cute together and you both just...I can tell you're both fully yourselves with each other. It's nice to see. So yeah...I hope you'll last until at least next year."

Kowalski nodded thoughtfully and sighed. "I guess that's as much as I can hope for. I know not to expect it to last forever...But…"

Doris patted his back. "Well, don't sell him too short, Kowalski. My brother, if anything, has always been kind of weird. There are so many dolphin traditions he chose not to follow just because he didn't feel like following them. He might be one of the rare ones that choose to stick around with one mate."

"Thank you...But let's not get my hopes up." He chuckled, shaking his head. "After all, he and I, we've only had four dates, plus this…And you know how clingy I can be. We're still getting to know each other better."

"And that's good. You should take it slow." She then looked around. "Speaking of dates, where did Harry go?"

Kowalski swam up and looked as well. "Uhhh...Last time I saw him he was swimming over to that small group of males?"

Doris groaned and ran a flipper down her face. "Of all the cousins—" she grumbled. "Floris's sons are not who I wanted him to befriend. Okay, stay right here, I'll be right back." She nodded before swimming back the other direction.

"So I guess I'll just...Float right here, o-kay, " he murmured, looking around. He then shrugged and swam up to the surface and refreshed his oxygen. He didn't really enjoy waiting alone, but he was not about to try wandering and talking to random dolphins. How would he be able to tell a friendly one from a predatory one? Perhaps if there were fewer and he wasn't surrounded, but for now it was better to be safe than someone's dinner.

As he turned to dive down again, he noticed a dolphin swimming towards him. He raised a brow until he saw the dolphin breach with a spin and then he smiled and waved. "Hey Francis!" However, when the dolphin got closer, Kowalski's eyes widened as he lowered his flipper. "Oh...You're not Francis."

The dolphin stopped by him and laughed. "No, I'm not, but you're close. It's Ferris." He winked at him.

Kowalski took a moment to glance him over with a tilted head. His resemblance to Francis was remarkable, though this Ferris was possibly a little bigger? And he had both of his eyes. "Sorry...You just look a lot like him." He smiled sheepishly.

"Oh I know. He and I are cousins, so it's not surprising. We got the good looks of the family." Ferris smirked. "So what's your name, duckling?"

He made a face. "My name is Kowalski. I'm a penguin."

"And you're Francis's date?" He whistled. "'Bout time he brought someone cuter than that grouchy uh...Pedro? Porker? Barker?"

"Parker?" he offered.

"That's the one!"

"Yeah...He's a platypus. They're...Unique."

"But not half as cute as you are, Cupcake." He winked. "Say, what'cha doing here all alone, anyway? Francis not being a good date?"

"Oh no, he's just talking with his mother. Doris was showing me around, but she went to find her boyfriend." He pointed the direction she had left.

"Well if that's the case, would you like for me to continue your tour? A snack like you shouldn't be left all alone."

Kowalski cleared his throat and smoothed down some flustered feathers. "That would be nice…Or if you could just get me back to Doris perhaps?"

"We can do that. Want a ride, Cupcake?"

"No thank you, I'm perfectly okay swimming." He smiled awkwardly at him.

The dolphin nodded, grabbing his flipper. "Okay! Then let's go."

Kowalski was then dragged along as Ferris swam over to the group of males they had passed earlier. Instantly, he felt his stomach tie itself into an anxious knot. One stranger leading him to a group of strangers, this did not feel safe.

"Hey Kurtis!" Ferris called out. "Have you seen Dory?"

The dolphin that Kowalski could only assume was Kurtis lifted his pale silver head from the group. "Heck yeah! She was just here."

"Ah, just missed her. Well, while we're here, Cupcake, meet my brother, Kurtis, and a couple of our other cousins, Dennis and Harris. Boys, this is Kowalski, Francis's new toy."

"Hi…" Kowalski awkwardly waved at them, but glanced over his shoulder, hoping to see a more familiar face. When he looked back at the dolphins, he jumped. Harry had just appeared beside Kurtis.

"Oh hey, Kowalski." He waved a tentacle. "Don't mind me, I was never here."

"You just missed Alexis and Iris, too. They went with Doris," Kurtis chuckled. "Girl talk I guess."

Ferris rolled his eyes, before smiling at Kowalski. "You still want to look for her, or just chill with us for now? I promise we won't bite unless you want us to."

"Um...I guess I can wait here…" After all, a stationary location would be easier for them to locate him, right? And it wasn't like he didn't know anyone now. Harry was here, though he was only an acquaintance.

Kurtis moved a little closer to them, patting a terrified looking pufferfish along with his flipper. "Hey, either of you want a hit? This one's fresh."

Kowalski looked from him to the fish and back. "I don't want to be hit with a pufferfish, no thank you. It looks rather spikey."

Ferris cackled and shook his head. "No, no, Cupcake, that's not what he means."

"And what Kowalski meant was no."

Both Ferris and Kowalski turned around to see Francis swim up. A large smile coupled with relief washed over the little penguin.

"He's anxious enough," Francis said, slipping his flipper around Kowalski and pulling him away from Ferris. "He'd have a reaction like that time I tried it. Thank you for keeping him company, but we'll be leaving now." His voice was friendly enough, but stern.

"Oh come on, Francis, lighten up. You like just got here. You can't leave yet."

"I came to visit Mother and Doris. We've visited. I would like us to get back to the sea to our next destination before it gets dark."

"No seriously, you shouldn't leave yet. Mama said there's been an orca spotted nearby," Kurtis piped up.

Francis gave them a deadpan expression. "Really? I had no idea."

"We faced off with the orca on our way here." Kowalski grimaced.

"Then you know you should stay around for a while longer. Orcas eat penguins, don't they? You really going to risk Cupcake like that?" Ferris gave him a look.

"First off, his name isn't Cupcake, it's Kowalski to you." He bared his teeth with a forced smile. "Second, we fought him off one time, we can do it again. We make a good team. So, Ferris, I'd advise you to back off."

Ferris pursed his lips, looking at them. "Well, then I guess I'll back off. I wanted the little guy to know he's got more options available than just you."

Francis narrowed his eye as he held Kowalski against himself. "Good bye, Ferris." He looked over at Harry. "And as for you, Doris is looking for you. I'm not getting involved in your squabble, but I would hate to be the guy that ticked her off." He then swam off with Kowalski, back towards his mother.

Kowalski looked up at him thoughtfully. "So, how did it go? Did you tell them?"

"Yeah...It went fairly well. I just have a lot to think about later."

The penguin nodded, considering this. He glanced back at the other dolphins and then back at Francis. "And you're okay?"

"Completely peachy."

"And Ferris is…?"

Francis looked down at them for a moment. "What? Oh, he's Aunt Floris's younger son. Kurtis, Ferris, and Iris are all her offspring. Ferris is about Doris's age."

Kowalski groaned and rubbed his temples. "So many names and ises. I have a headache. And I don't even have notes to sort this out later."

"Hey, don't think about it. When the sub's back around I can sketch you up a simple family tree." He patted his head. "I know it's a lot."

"Honestly, please. That would be great."

"Cool, then just remind me tomorrow or something." He then let go of him, letting him swim again himself. "I was thinking we'd say our goodbyes to Doris and Mother then start for that island I told you about. I'd rather us swim as much as possible in the daylight. It would be harder to see orcas at night, though I'm hoping he won't be around where we're going anyway."

Kowalski nodded, swimming beside him. "I think that's a good plan." He smiled widely. "I really can't wait. I haven't been on a treasure hunt in a few years. The last one was kind of disappointing too, one of those 'friendship is the greatest treasure of all' bull-sharks."

Francis laughed and shook his head. "I mean, that's not wrong, but yeah actual treasure has its own value. Hopefully, we'll come across something."


	15. Pirate Prolix

_**Chapter 15: Pirate Prolix** _

After a quick goodbye, the boys were once again swimming off into the sea. This time they were taking a slightly different path than Blowhole had originally planned in hopes of avoiding their orca pal from earlier.

Kowalski at this point backstroked alongside Blowhole. "So how far is it to this island of yours?"

"A couple hours, maybe?" He shrugged. "I actually have never been there before so I don't actually know."

"Oh."

Blowhole glanced at him, thinking. "You know a thing or two about pirates, right?"

"...Probably more than a thing or two."

"Well, why don't you get us in the pirate mood. Let's hear some pirate facts."

Kowalski stopped swimming and looked at him with widened eyes. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, why not? I like learning as much as the next genius." He shrugged again.

"Okay then, let's see…" He thought for a moment as they swam. "Not all pirates used the Jolly Roger. A lot of them had their own unique flag. For instance, the pirate Edward Low had a blood-red skeleton on his flag. Blackbeard's flag had a skeleton holding an hourglass, spearing a bleeding heart. Many pirates before the Jolly Roger are thought to have used a bright red flag to signify they were pirates. Technically, the red flag was suppose to signify quarantined ships, but it's thought the pirates thought it made them seem more dangerous."

Blowhole nodded as he half-listened.

"Most pirates didn't actually have anyone walk planks. They either took them prisoner or killed them right then and there. If they wanted to torture someone, they'd keehaul them."

"Well that's almost disappointing."

"Pirates wore an eye-patch so that one eye was adjusted to seeing in the dimmer light below deck."

"Smart."

"Most pirates wore an earring. If I remember correctly, the main theory is so that it could be used to pay for them a proper funeral if they died."

Blowhole nodded again. "Do you have a favorite?"

"Probably Captain Howell Davis. He was very short lived as a pirate, but I liked reading about his style."

"Go on."

"He was a very astute guy and preferred strategy to violence. One time he dressed like a prestigious gentleman and tricked a governor into having lunch with him, then kidnapped him for a large ransom. Sometimes he would pretend to be from a merchant or pirate-hunting ship and charm his victims into giving him what he wanted. After he was killed, his protege became captain and he and the crew avenged his death."

"So what you're saying is...He's me but a pirate?"

"NO. I DID NOT SAY THAT."

Blowhole smirked, glancing at him. "Funny, because that's exactly what it sounded like."

"NO! I never even noticed the similarities before!"

"You subconsciously had a crush on me because I remind you of your favorite pirate." He cackled. "That's cute."

Kowalski at this point has nearly submerged himself under the water. "Shut up. I'm cringing. I'm not here."

"Maybe I should get myself an eyepatch and kidnap some president for a ransom, eh? I could even wear a suit." He glanced slyly at him.

"I'm not listening. Can't hear you. Water is over the receiver. Lalalalala~"

Blowhole just laughed and shook his head. "I'm flattered really." He reached back and pulled Kowalski up from being submerged. "What about Blackbeard? Know anything about him?"

"Yeah…" The penguin cleared his throat and smoothed down his feathers. "His real name was Edward Teach and he was from Bristol, England. To make himself appear more fearsome, he would add lit canon fuses to his beard and hat."

As Kowalski talked, Blowhole's mind started to half-drift off into his thoughts. Much of this he had researched already since this was roughly the area the Queen Anne's Revenge originally sank, but at least talking was keeping Kowalski occupied from asking if they were almost there yet. He returned to thinking about the conversations he had had with Doris and his mother.

There were a number of reasons he couldn't just stop being a villain altogether… Number one being simply that he really didn't want to stop. It was pretty fun after all. And of course he had built quite a reputation at this point. If he stepped down as a villain, who knows who might try to take his position in New York. Then there also is his business. Sure, half of it is general inventions and technology, but half of his profit did come from selling evil inventions to other villains.

Could there possibly be a compromise? What if he only stopped trying to drown the humans? He could possibly consider not trying to take over the world…But come on, even the good guys kind of want world domination. What would the penguins do if they couldn't stop him anymore? Skipper would be so bored and disappointed. He couldn't let his archnemesis down like that.

At this point, Blowhole began to notice that the ocean was a little too quiet. What happened to the steady stream of Blackbeard facts? He stopped and looked around.

"On second thought, what happened to Mittens?" he murmured. Not seeing Kowalski anywhere on the water surface, he dove down and looked around.

Slowly sinking, a few meters back the way they had come, there he was, squirming and tangled up in something. Blowhole shook his head with a sigh and swam back to him and carefully freed the penguin from his terrible sea monster, also known as a plastic bag. He then nudged him back up to the surface. Kowalski quickly surfaced and took a deep breath; Blowhole came up directly after him.

"Is it possible for you to just not almost die? That's twice today you nearly died."

Kowalski scowled at him. "It's not like I go around asking things to attack me!"

"I know! I'm just amazed."

"And here I thought dolphins were supposed to be lucky. How lucky are you if I've almost died twice under your supervision?" He glanced at him.

"Hey, keyword there is almost. Obviously, I'm lucky enough that you're still alive and haven't died yet." He paused. "But from now on, you're swimming directly in front of me."

"No argument there." He sighed. "Are we almost there yet?"

Blowhole looked the exhausted and distressed penguin over and sighed. "I think so. But if you need to take a break, I don't mind giving you a lift again."

Kowalski shook his head. "No, no, I'm fine. The sub should be there waiting for us, right?"

"Uh…" He frowned. "Not exactly."

"What?"

Blowhole nudged Kowalski ahead of him again. "Red One will be at the island by morning...How do you feel about camping out in the ocean for the night?"

"...With an orca in the area?"

"Well...Yes. I mean, I guess if you preferred, you could sleep on the island but...I'm confined to the water until Red One arrives with my Segway."

Kowalski grimaced but nodded. "I...I don't like the idea, but I don't want to sleep on the island alone either."

"It won't be that bad. You could sleep on my back so you don't float away, or get tangled in plastic, or eaten by an orca. I only sleep half of my brain at a time, so I'll at least be half observant around us at all times."

"...Maybe if you rested the seeing half while I'm still awake?"

"Sure." He nodded. "But I promise, I'm not going to let anything happen to you while you sleep, alright? Can you trust me?"

Kowalski looked at him with hesitance at first before nodding. "Yeah...Yeah, I trust you."

"Good. Now get swimming so it doesn't take us all night since you turned down getting a ride."

Kowalski rolled his eyes and porpoised ahead of him. Blowhole couldn't help but crack a small grin. There just was something about pestering him that just never got old.

As the two swam on, night fell around them. Eventually, Kowalski took that offer to a ride after all when he no longer felt safe leading the way with his poor night vision and by the time Blowhole had reached the island, the anxious penguin had drifted off to sleep already. Briefly, Blowhole considered waking him but he quickly decided against it. Silently, he swam along the coast of the island, being careful not to swim too shallowly. As he rounded the bend of the island, his robotic eye chirped. Blowhole reached up and pressed one of the small side buttons.

"Yes?"

"Hey, Doc, we got the rendezvous done. We're almost to those island coordinates you wanted to meet at." Red One's voice said through the small speaker.

"How almost is almost?"

"Uhhhh, probably within the next thirty minutes or so? We've been making pretty good time."

"Good, good." He nodded. "Let me know when you're closer and you can pick us up. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow."

"Roger that, Doc."

Blowhole pressed the button again with a thoughtful glance back at Kowalski. Hopefully he was a deep enough sleeper that he wouldn't wake when being brought into the sub. He then looked back in front of himself with a frown. Now that he thought about it...Kowalski had had a fairly traumatic day today and he had to admit he felt a little...Weird, like...Bad. He had said he'd take care of him, and so far he hadn't done that good of a job at it.

"How you've lived this long I can only guess that maybe your team has been doing something that's kept you safe." He murmured, glancing back at him again. So perhaps he had sold the other penguins a little short before. He just couldn't imagine before how one little pen-gu-in could get into such trouble.

For a moment he just watched him sleep with a small smile. He was pretty cute, curled up against his dorsal fin like that. He then looked away again with a sigh. Tomorrow being his birthday and all, he hoped they would actually find something. If they didn't, he had back up plans of course, but he really just wanted Kowalski to enjoy tomorrow. And he had to admit, wanting someone else to be happy for a change again was a weird feeling that he wasn't used to anymore, but when it comes down to it, he just really wants to make him happy.

Blowhole's eye then widened as a realization dawned on him, but he quickly shook it away. "No. No no no. We've just been dating about three months. It's too soon."

"What's too soon?" Kowalski yawned, stretching on his back.

Blowhole froze. "Oh uh...You know, I forgot what I was thinking about." He awkwardly cleared his throat. "We're at the island anyway, how was your nap?"

The penguin rubbed his face, still very tired. "It was fine, I dreamed we were pirates."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm." He yawned again. "Did you know a couple pirates in a domestic partnership was called a matelotage? We were in a matelotage."

Blowhole glanced back at him and then out at the ocean, for once too flustered to say anything. "...Sounds like it was a nice dream."

"Yeah…" He then sat up. "Any sign of the sub or the orca?"

"Red One called a little while ago. They'll be here soon so you won't have to worry about sleeping with orcas tonight after all."

Kowalski smiled slightly. "That's nice to hear. You can take a nap now if you want. I'll keep watch for the sub and wake you when I see them."

Blowhole nodded slowly with a sigh. "Alright, but just know I can still hear and talk with you if you get bored. I'm just going to rest that one side."

"Noted. Sleep well, Francis." The penguin patted his back and leaned against his dorsal fin.

Blowhole smiled slightly as he closed his eye and tried to get some sleep.


	16. Treasure Hunting

_**Chapter 16: Treasure Hunting** _

Kowalski reached back and pulled the small blanket closer to him with a small shiver. It was a futile move though as he remained cold. He opened one eye and glanced over at the larger bunk along the other adjacent wall. The sleeping dolphin there didn't look cold at all, in fact he looked fairly comfortable. He squinted at him with a frown.

Really was not fair that he, a penguin, was chilly, and the dolphin was comfortable, but he supposed it must be from how hard he had been sleeping that his body temperature dropped. He had fallen back asleep the moment they had gotten to the bunks on the sub anyhow. How long had they been resting again?

He glanced around for a clock, but didn't see one from his current position. Once again, Kowalski looked over at Francis. He then quietly stepped down from the bunk, blanket still wrapped around himself, and tiptoed over. Then, he dropped the blanket at the edge of the bed and gently wormed his way under Francis's blanket next to him and snuggled in.

Yes, this was much warmer. Very cozy. He closed his eyes and prepared to go back to sleep.

"It seems I've been invaded."

Kowalski's eyes widened and he peaked from under the covers with a sheepish smile. "Hi."

Francis looked at him with a raised brow. "Did you miss me or something, Mittens?"

"NO!" He scowled, pulling the cover back over his head. "I was cold."

"You're a peng-u-in."

"Penguins can get cold too, Dolph-uh-in."

"Mmm, might be because of your lack of blubber." He poked him with a chuckle.

Kowalski swatted him away. "I also have thinner feathers if you want to keep a tally of all the ways I'm inadequate for Antarctic temperatures."

"So what you're saying is, you need to eat more and get your proper nutrients and you might start fluffing up and not be so cold?"

"You're one to talk. How are you not freezing? It's not like you have a lot of insulation either."

Francis shrugged, pulling the penguin closer. "Perhaps I'm not as cold blooded as you peng-u-ins think I am, mmh?"

Kowalski smiled slightly as he enjoyed the cozy warmth close to him. "Well. Good. But I'm still saying, if you think I'm underfed, then I'm also going to point the mirror at you, Bottlenose. Boneyest dolphin I've ever hugged."

"Fine. Why don't we make this a deal then? We both make sure the other remembers to eat so we don't freeze this winter."

"Deal." He nodded shortly.

"Great." He propped himself up by his flipper. "So my little elderly thirty-five year old, are you still cold, or are you ready to get on with your birthday?"

"Is both an option?"

Francis gave him a look and rolled his eye. "Well, if that's the case, I suppose that means I need to warm you up." He smirked before leaning over and gently nuzzling his back with his rostrum.

Kowalski's eyes widened and his feathers rustled and he quickly scrambled from the bed. "I'M WARM. I'M WARM."

"OH _NOW_ YOU DON'T WANT TO CUDDLE? COME BACK."

"I'M GOOD, BUT THANKS," he squeaked over his shoulder as he slid out from the room towards the dining area, not pausing to wait for Francis. However, once he rounded the corner, he stopped, stood up, and smoothed down his feathers before hiding his face in his flippers and leaning against the wall. He just shook his head.

When he finally looked up from his flippers, Francis was rolling around the corner. He cleared his throat. "Sorry…"

"Don't be. I know a flustered tactical retreat when I see one." He rolled his eye. "Come on. We'll eat then grab the metal detectors."

* * *

Kowalski stepped off the platform onto the beach, his small metal detector in flipper and a small pack on his back. For a moment he stood there and grinned out at the beach before them. Sure, deep down he knew they probably wouldn't find any buried treasure, but the concept and possibility of it thrilled him in an almost uncontainable way.

He glanced back over his shoulder as Francis came down the ramp behind him. "I have a stupid question."

"What? Need help working your metal detector? Looks like a pretty simple model."

"No, that's not-" He took a breath. "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT LOOKS!"

Francis smirked and rolled closer. "Then what's the question?"

"I was wondering…" He trailed off and scowled. "Blackbeard's breeches. I forgot my question."

"Well if it comes back, let me know." He patted his head before pressing a button on his segway. A small, built-in metal-detector extended outwards from the front and a green sonar-like hologram glowed on the panel. "We'll cover more ground if we split up. Maybe we can meet back up in an hour if neither of us have found anything of note by then? At that point we can check out the forest."

"I'll take the west?"

"Then I'll head east. If you find anything, you can call me, or just scream. I'm sure I'll probably hear you."

Kowalski side-eye glanced at him. "Well, then how would you know if I found anything from if something was trying to eat me, hmm?"

"Eh, either way I'd need to come your way, right?"

"Touche." He adjusted his headphones with a nod. "Alright. I'll be in touch."

The two then set out on their separate ways down the beach, scanning slowly with their devices. Seven bottle caps, 2 tin cans, a nickel, and a fishing hook later Kowalski started getting bored. It was apparent he wasn't finding anything of value out on the beach, but he knew it wasn't time to start heading back to meet up again. He looked out at the ocean with a smile, then his gaze fell upon some small pebbles by the water.

Kowalski's brow furrowed as he felt the sudden urge to go pick through them. Instead he shook his head and continued down the beach, scanning once more. And yet, he found himself glancing back towards the pebbles. Finally, he sighed and waddled over to them.

"Not sure why I'm doing this. I got a fresh rock last week, so it can't be time to swallow a new one yet," he murmured to himself as he glanced the rocks over. He nudged a couple over with his foot until he spied one that caught his full attention. He bent over and picked it up with a small smile. "Heh. It almost matches Francis's eye." He reached back and pocketed it in his pack for later.

He then noticed that his backpack was vibrating and took out his phone. "Kowalski."

"Hey, I'm just playing trash collector on this end. You finding anything?"

Kowalski glanced at his findings and shook his head. "No. Mostly bottle caps."

"Alright. Then I say we move on to the woods early. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I was getting a little bored myself. I'll meet you there." He slipped his phone back into the pack, shouldered it, grabbed his metal detector, and waddled back to their meeting spot. On the way there, his mind returned to that pebble in his pack and it made him feel oddly warm and fuzzy inside. He wasn't sure yet what he wanted the pebble for, but his instincts were saying to keep it, so might as well listen to them, right?

Kowalski smiled as he waddled up to the waiting dolphin. "We're metal detecting in the woods?"

Francis glanced down at him, shaking his head as he scrolled through his phone. "Not exactly. We're moving to Plan B. How familiar are you with geocaching?"

"...Can't say that I am."

"You really need to get out of your lab more than just for missions." He held his phone down for him to see. "Geocaching is essentially a GPS coordinate treasure hunt humans do. They hide a small treasure, post the coordinates or clues, and then people can find them. I had Red One check the site ahead of time. Supposedly, unless he told me the wrong island, there should be one around here somewhere."

"So a modern treasure hunt?"

"Exactly." He put his phone away. "We'll go south west."

Kowalski nodded but then looked skeptically at the segway. "How are you going to get there? I don't think those are made for off-roading?"

Francis smirked and pressed a button. "Oh don't sell my invention so short, Mittens. I came prepared." The ball-like wheel covered itself in a blue sheath with tread. "And I've got more options where that came from should I require greater traction."

"I stand corrected." He chuckled before starting towards the woods. He then paused. "On second thought, you should probably lead since you have the coordinates."

"Right." Francis nodded and rolled forward and Kowalski followed briskly behind him.

After a few minutes, the duo were already very well into the forest. They tried to keep to the trackways as much as possible for the sake of Francis's segway. After all, it may have more traction with his innovations, but it still was a segway with a three hundred pound dolphin aboard. Quicksand or deep mud would not be their friend. Arguably, neither would fallen timber, but the great thing about having a laser built-in to a robotic eye is that it can be used to cut a segway-sized chunk out to keep the path clear.

In this way, there were multiple timber chunks Kowalski found himself shoving out of their path. As he pushed this most recent one away, he looked over his shoulder. "Are we getting anywhere close?"

Francis took out his phone and double checked. "Yeah. We're getting closer." He glanced back at him. "Need a break?"

"Honestly a break and maybe lunch doesn't sound horrible."

The dolphin nodded, looking at his phone again. "If this map is current, then off to our left should be a stream. We could take a break there." He looked over with a slight frown. "That's going to be downhill…" He murmured and then sighed. "Just in case I slide, you should follow behind me again. I don't want to accidentally roll over you." He rolled off their path into the brush.

"Noted and appreciated." Kowalski stood up and waddled after him.

However, they didn't get very far before Francis stopped with a look of concern. "Stop."

The penguin raised a brow. "What's wro-" But before he could finish, the ground sunk in from below Francis and down the dolphin fell right before his eyes. " _FRANCIS?!_ " In a flash he was down on all fours by the mouth of the hole, peering over the edge, attempting to see him through the cloud of disturbed soils. "FRANCIS? ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU DEAD?"


	17. Subterranean Treasures

_**Chapter 17: Subterranean Treasures** _

"FRANCIS? FRANCIS, CAN YOU HEAR ME? ARE YOU ALIVE?"

The kicked up dust began to clear and Blowhole shifted from below, coughing slightly. "Nope. Totally dead." He glanced up at more soil trickled down onto him from above.

"YOU'RE DEAD?!"

Blowhole for a moment was silent with a deadpan expression before shaking his head. "Kowalski, if I was dead, would I be talking to you now?"

"HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE NOT A GHOST?"

More soil trickled down and he shifted. "Hey, watch ou—" Then the dirt broke loose from above him and Kowalski came tumbling down on top of him. "—t." He winced, glaring upwards at the penguin now on his head. "Still think I'm a ghost?"

Kowalski sat up, with a sheepish expression. "Sorry." He carefully climbed down. "But seriously, are you okay?"

"Would have been much better if one of us was still up there, but yeah I'm fine." He got up from the ground and carefully stretched himself, rubbing his back. "Going to have some bruises."

"And your segway?" The penguin waddled up, already looking it over himself. "I'm amazed it's still one piece."

"Of course it is, I built it from the strongest metal alloy I can use currently." He ran his flipper along a spot where the paint had been scraped off and frowned. "A few scrapes and scratches though." He leaned closer, squinting at it. "...And a dented handlebar." He then sighed and got on it again. "But those can be repaired later."

Kowalski rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. "I feel like I should apologize."

The dolphin looked down at him. "Did you dig tunnels in the hill so that the ground was too fragile to hold me?"

"Well, no, I—"

"—Then it's not your fault and you have no reason to apologize."

"Sorry, it's a force of habit I guess." He cleared his throat.

Blowhole reached down and picked him up. "Yeah, I know. We'll work on that." He then sat him in the basket on his segway. Peng-u-in accounted for, he turned to his little control panel, scrolling on the small screen through his assorted extra features and turned on a built in spotlight which lit up the hole, revealing a long stretch of dark tunnel before them. "I vote we go that way."

Kowalski looked up towards the hole above them and then nodded with a sigh. "Unless you have a grappling hook feature, that probably is our best option."

"Well...It would be a lie if I said I didn't have one...But the ground does not seem firm enough to support me trying to squirm up and out."

"Touche." He nodded and turned in the basket to look ahead of them. "Creepy unstable tunnel it is then."

Blowhole rolled his eye as he started down the tunnel, carefulling rolling his way around jutting rocks and roots. As the tunnel grew narrower, he was forced to stoop down. He also noted that they had to be rolling downhill as he had to keep leaning back to keep them from shooting down the tunnel blindly. At least he was accustomed to navigating in small places, for better or worse.

After a few yards, the tunnel opened up into a fairly large cavernous space. Blowhole frowned slightly at this and reached up to his robotic eye piece and pressed one of the buttons along the side. A broad red beam of light bathed the area around them, just enough that they could get an idea of the terrain. Their rocky path would abruptly turn to the right just a few feet ahead.

"Is that water?"

Blowhole nodded as he squinted in the dark. "Yeah, I think so." He then gently put his flipper on Kowalski and pushed him further into the basket. "Stay down for a moment," he said before clicking into the dark. He listened to the echo and then let Kowalski sit back up. "There's something in the water."

Kowalski looked up at him. "Like...Like a tunnel monster or?"

"Tunnel mon—NO, of course not you idiot." He rolled his eye. "Like...Maybe a boat?"

"A boat? Underground?" He scrunched up his face, shaking his head. "I think my tunnel monster sounds more probable."

"For the love of—It is _not_ a monster. Trust me on this, alright? It has the ping echo of something large and made of wood. Hence, a boat."

Kowalski sighed and nodded. "Alright, fine, are we going to check it out?"

"Of course we are." He carefully turned and rolled down the path to the right. It led down to an old wooden dock. Blowhole inspected the path carefully. Too many boards were broken or cracked for him to risk rolling across. "I'm going to have to swim over, but you can waddle across."

"I'll take your segway with me."

Blowhole looked skeptically at the dock, running his tongue over his lips as he thought. "If a board starts to even creak, abort the mission. I'm not sure how deep the water is here, and I do not want to risk losing my segway to the depths."

"Noted. Mission accepted." Kowalski saluted to him, hopping up onto the handles.

With one last pensive glance, Blowhole dove from the segway into the dark waters. He surfaced after a moment and watched Kowalski's progress as he tried to drive the segway with his light self. If he hadn't been so worried about the safety of his very expensive equipment, he would have found the situation almost comical. When Kowalski had passed the weaker section of the dock, he swam over to the boat himself. He then shot up to land blindly with an ungraceful crash on the boat onto some old crates and pails.

" _F_ — _MMMM_ — _CRABCAKES_."

Kowalski winced as he slowly brought the segway closer to him. "I know that had to hurt."

"Yeah." He picked himself up off the crates with a grimace, checking for anything that might have been stabby before sighing in relief. "Just more bruises."

"I'd say you were really lucky. Why didn't you wait until I could have told you where a good landing point was? What if there had been a knife or a hook or something there? You could have been _speared_! YOU COULD BE DEAD!"

Blowhole looked at him. "Honestly, I just didn't think about it."

" _Well_ —" Kowalski took a deep breath and shook his head, holding back some words. "THINK about it from now on. _PLEASE_."

"I'll take that into consideration." He nodded as he climbed aboard the Segway. "... Thanks for bringing this over, anyway."

Kowalski nodded and moved back into the basket. "No problem."

The dolphin then turned his attention to the vessel at flipper. It was a moderately sized one which had obviously been here for a long, long time. The wood was brittle and creaky, and the air tasted of brine and mildew.

As the penguin took out a flashlight from his own bag and hopped down from the basket, Blowhole looked back at the crates that he had landed on top of. He reached down, moving a few of the rotting crate boards. "Hey Kowalski, you'd never guess what was in this." He looked over towards him. "You hear m—What are you doing? NO. NO, STOP!"

Kowalski glanced his way, frozen in place as he was preparing to lick the main staff pole.

"Tongue in mouth." He frowned. "Bad Mittens."

"Oh come on, Francis. I just wanted to see what it tastes like," he said, leaning away from the pole. "Can't be any worse than sewer water."

For a long moment, Blowhole could only stare at him with an expression of disgusted horror. "Alright. Let's get something clear. If you're going to be licking gross things, kissing is _off_ the table."

"But a lick could tell—" he paused and considered this before sighing and taking a small field kit from his backpack. "What about a sample to go?"

"To be analyzed in a lab? Yes. That's acceptable." He looked back at the crate for a moment. "Anyway, this crate is full of booze." He pulled out a bottle, looking it over. "Not sure how much I would trust a bottle of rum from centuries ago that's been sitting around in some ship underground... But they are pretty bottles though."

"I wouldn't trust it. I trusted 100 year old brined-preserved herring before. Tasted heavenly….But it was infected with a rare disease...An overall embarrassing experience."

Blowhole gave him a look. "And yet you were about to lick a pole that's down here harboring unknown bacteria to mutate for centuries."

Kowalski smiled sheepishly. "No one's perfect."

"Anyway…" He sat the bottle down. "I say we check out under the deck."

"How are you getting down a ladder?"

"Segway is staying up here. I'm obviously going to climb down them."

Kowalski blinked and then gestured towards the ladder. "Dolphins first."

Blowhole parked the segway by the ladderway before hopping off and carefully climbing down, mainly relying on his flippers as he hops down with his tail fluke. When he reached the floor he watched Kowalski climb down without a hitch. He then shone his red light around the room.

"Hey now!" he exclaimed before dragging himself over a few feet. He picked up an object and turned. "I found a knife!"

"Oh!" The penguin slid over. "Nice!" He gasped looking at it. He then showed his little flashlight around. He slid away and picked up a gold colored object. "A sextant!" He held it up to his eye. "A little rusty, but should polish up nicely."

"Not bad." Blowhole nodded as he snailed his way along the floor and through a door to a little room. In the room, the first thing he noticed was the fully-dressed skeleton sitting at the small deskset. "Ahoy there. Doubt you'll be needing this anymore." He smirked, taking his hat and tried it on. He picked up a silver plate from the desk, wiped off the dust with his flipper and used it to check his reflection. "Not bad, not bad at all."

He bent down and checked the cabinets of the desk around the skeleton and pulled out two silver wine goblets with a smirk. "Oh yeah, now that's what I'm talking about." He checked them over for cracks. "Yeah, I'll be taking these too." He sat them on the desk and continued checking the desk before pulling out a black mortar and pestle. "HEY MITTENS, COME'RE A SECOND."

Moments later, Kowalski slid into the room. "You called?"

"Yeah, you have any room in your backpack for a few things?"

"In fact, I have a bag inside my bag." He smiled, pulling it out.

"Even better." Blowhole passed him the goblets, the mortar and pestle, the knife, and the hat for the bag. "Have you found anything else?"

"I have!" He held up a weathered flag with a giant smile. "Do you know how rare it is to find a mostly intact pirate ship flag?!"

"Uhhhh no, but I'm guessing pretty uncommon."

"Incredibly so!" he squeaked. "This is _SO_ getting framed when we're back."

Blowhole smiled at his enthusiasm. "Glad you found a bit of pirate treasure after all."

Kowalski nodded much and returned his flag to the bag. "But I started thinking...How _are_ we getting out of here?"

"Well, if you're done looking around, we can start figuring that out."

"I'm done." He smiled.

"Then go ahead upstairs and add a few of those old bottles to the bag while I climb up."

Kowalski nodded and slid out. Blowhole looked again at the desk skeleton. His gaze fell upon his belted sword holster and reached down and drew the sword. He held it up and looked it over before nodding to the centuries old sea captain. "See ya, Captain Bones, we'll be leaving. It's been a pleasure looting from ya." He took the sword between his teeth and snailed his way out of the room and over to the ladder where he began the tiring climb upwards. When he reached the top, he pulled himself up onto the floor and onto his segway with a grunt. He then rolled over to Kowalski with the sword. "Hey, got this too. Pretty dull, but it'd make a cool mantle piece."

"I think that's a little big for my bag…"

"That's fine, it can just sit in the basket with you if you'll be careful."

Kowalski nodded as he climbed up the segway himself. "Right. I'll steer it over the dock again, correct?"

"Yeah. Meet you there." And with that, Blowhole flipped over the side and splashed lightly into the dark pool. This time, as Kowalski carefully drove the segway back across the dock, Blowhole swam alongside the doc, just in case it gave way. To his relief, it stayed firm for the whole ride and when he reached the shore, he ascended it once more and Kowalski relocated to the basket.

"I don't know about you, but I haven't seen an exit."

"Well, we both know you have sucky night vision without your goggles anyhow."

"...Fair."

Blowhole nodded and looked around again. "Looks like a path goes this way...There HAS to be some way out of here because they got a whole boat in here."

"...Another good point."

"I'm full of good points, aren't I?" He rolled along the path until it led them to a wall of dirt and rocks. He felt it with his flipper, frowning. "Cave in?"

"So...We're stuck down here?" Kowalski looked up at him, biting his tongue.

Blowhole glanced back down at him. "No...No of course not. I have an idea...A stupid one, but it might work."

"Which would be…?"

The dolphin pressed a button on his segway and they were encased in a semi-transparent and metal, beach-ball-like sphere. "My sub—"

"—Terranean attack pod?!"

"Exactly. We're going to tunnel our own exit out."


	18. Birthday Pie

_**Chapter 18: Birthday Pie** _

Kowalski hunkered down in the Segway basket, carefully angling the sharp side of the sword away from himself. He glanced back at the dolphin with a nod and braced himself. He kept a glance on the sword as Francis sped into the crumbling wall of dirt and rocks, not because he was nervous of it, but to keep himself from attempting to calculate the probability that this could backfire horribly, collapse on top of them, and leave them buried alive to die. Those statistics had to be pretty high, he was sure of it. But he really did not want to calculate that exact number.

He then jumped as he felt something touch his back and looked back at Francis.

"Hey, woah, calm down." Francis said, stroking him. "We're going to be fine. This is, after all, my second time using this invention. It had very few kinks the first run, so it should be nearly flawless now."

Kowalski nodded and took a deep breath. "I know...And I trust you, really...I just…"

"Yeah, I know." The dolphin ruffled his head feathers with a smirk. "Just keep your feathers on straight and we'll be out of here too."

"Right…" He sighed, leaning back and looking at the dark walls around them. For the most part, it was just a lot of dirt and the occasional root or rock, but then he turned over as he began noticing more lively underground specimens: worms mainly, but they did go through a couple empty burrows.

Soon enough, and true to Francis's word, they burst out into the open air and sunlight. The subterranean attack pod opened up from around them and folded itself away automatically. Francis stretched himself, rubbing his bruised back, while Kowalski hopped from the basket and laid on the ground.

The dolphin rolled over to him, looking down. "I say we finally have lunch then get back on the trail of that geocache."

Kowalski turned slightly towards him. "You still want to find that? We found a literal pirate ship, Francis."

"I know, but crabcakes. I did not fall down in a hole looking for that thing to just give up on it. I don't care if it has nothing but a feather, we're finding it."

"Alright, then I want lunch first."

Francis nodded and leaned against a tree. "Well, the food is in your bag, Jan."

"It is?" He sat up enough to get to his backpack and dug around inside with his flipper before pulling out two sandwiches. "Oh, it is." He tossed the larger one up to Francis before taking a bite of the other.

"Any thoughts on what we should leave in it?" he asks, already half finished with his sandwich.

Kowalski scratched his head. "Something more useful than a feather? I mean, I have plenty of feathers to offer but…"

"You could still leave a feather. I seriously doubt many penguins come around here."

"Fair point." He took another bite. "Still say we should leave something useful, too."

Francis finished his sandwich and gestured at the bag. "I guess we could be nice and leave the pirate knife. Sword was an upgrade anyway."

"Yeah, I don't mind that." Kowalski finished his lunch, stood up, and gestured forward. "After you then."

The dolphin double-checked their current coordinates and the coordinates of the geocache and adjusted their course accordingly before starting to roll ahead. "I actually believe our unexpected detour brought us closer to the geocache."

"It probably did...You and your dolphin luck." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Hey, at least this means my good luck is stronger than your bad luck."

"You still fell down a hole and hurt yourself on the boat."

"Perhaps, but no one died and we found pirate treasure. It's a positive net-force."

Kowalski smiled slightly and nodded before letting himself get caught up in his thoughts again. Francis did have a point. As many times as they both had nearly died this trip, neither actually resulted with any serious injuries and they had had many positive experiences. If luck is a real thing, maybe in some way Francis was his good luck charm.

After a little ways down their improvised path, Francis stopped rolling and checked their coordinates. He then put his phone away with a nod. "It's hidden around here somewhere."

"Uhh...Humans would probably hide it around their eye-level?"

"Well that's stupid. Why would they put it somewhere easy to find? The whole game of it is to try to find it!"

"Francis. We've already discussed the typical intelligence of humans."

"Yeah, I know…" He sighed and shook his head. "I guess I was being hopeful."

Kowalski glanced at him. "Hopeful about a human?"

Francis froze and shook his head. "Uh...No...That's not what—ANYWAY, let's just find the thing." He then rolled over to the closest tree to inspect it.

"Just saying...That's not a bad thing if you were~"

"Kowalski."

The penguin smirked to himself as he shimmied up a different tree. He peeked into an old knot hole before reaching in. He then pulled out a tube. "Hey. Is this it?" He held it up and waved it above his head.

Francis rolled over for a better look. "I'm going to have to say, probably."

Kowalski nodded before twisting off the cap on the end and dumping the contents into his flipper. "A log sheet and—" He moved the paper. "—a couple of bracelets." He passed them over so Francis could take a better look at the green and purple bracelets.

"Which one do you like more?"

"Uhhhh." He looked at them. "It'll be faster if you choose."

"But it's your birthday."

Kowalski blinked and then nodded slowly. "Touche...I forgot. Uhhhhhhhmmmm." He bit his tongue as he thought about it.

Francis stroked his back. "Take your time, we have all afternoon."

"Maybe I'll take the purple one. It kind of matches—" He paused. "It's a nice color."

"See? Didn't take you that long. Now, hold out your flipper."

"Hold out my flipper?"

"Yes."

Kowalski gave him a weird look, but finally held out his flipper for him. Francis then slid the bracelet on.

"Now we're official...His and his bracelets." He winked at him.

"Wait, wha—" He looked at his bracelet before looking at the other. Sure enough, both said 'his' on it. His beak dropped. "YOU PLANNED THIS?!"

"Maybe...Maybe not." He shrugged. "We still need to sign the log and put something in the tube."

Kowalski squinted at him, but couldn't help but smile as he took out the knife and his pencil from his backpack. He slipped the knife in the tube and added his name as neatly as possible to the list before passing it.

Francis signed his signature and passed the sheet back. "You know...We could do something a little extra to mark that we were here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, give me a moment." He went to the other side of the tree. After a few flashes of the red of his eye-laser he motioned for Kowalski to come around.

Kowalski dropped down from the tree and waddled to the other side and gasped. In the bark of the tree was now a small F+J.

"I meant to actually mark our initials on the boat...But I forgot. So, we can just deem this our tree that marks that the boat is also ours."

"So...We now joint-own a tree, a pirate ship, and a road?" He gave him a look.

"World domination has to start somewhere." He winked at him.

Kowalski laughed, shaking his head as he snapped a quick picture of the tree with his phone. "Alright, Dr. World Domination, what's next on the agenda?"

Francis picked him up and set him in the basket. "Back to the sub for one last surprise."

"THERE'S MORE?"

"I promise, it's just a little surprise. Then we can rest on the way back to New York."

Kowalski nodded and sat back in the basket, looking at his bracelet as Francis carefully rolled his way back through the woods, along the path they had already created. Returning to the sub was far faster than the search for the geocache, but Kowalski didn't mind that. As nice as this mini vacation had been, he was starting to miss his lab...Although at the same time, as soon as he returned he knew he would have to start studying for his final exams at the end of the week, but he wasn't too worried about those. The classes had been fairly easy.

Francis rolled up the platform and into the sub before gently setting Kowalski on the floor. "I'll meet you in the kitchen. Going to drop a few things off at the bunks first."

"Oh, then can you take this with you?" He took off his backpack and held it up.

"Yep." He grabbed the bag and rolled off.

Kowalski waddled ahead to the kitchen where he climbed up into a raised seat. He sat there for a moment, taking the time to check his phone, but glanced over as Red One skittered in. "Hello."

The lobster came closer, standing up a little taller to see his flipper before chuckling. "I see you found the geocache."

"Yeah…" He twisted it around so that the 'his' was once again facing upwards. "Really wasn't expecting such a dorky gesture from him like that. He definitely surprised me."

"Well...I can't say he deserves _all_ of the credit for the idea." Red One chuckled. "But it was his decision for me to switch out the cache's contents last night while you two slept."

"Oh?" He looked over with a raised brow. "What was in it before?"

Red One shrugged slightly "A dried flower and and a couple brightly colored feathers. Nothing that interesting."

"Noted." Kowalski nodded, furrowing his brow as he thought about this. "So he just...Decided last night to change the contents? He just happened to have the bracelets sitting around?"

"Uhhhh, no." He rubbed the back of his neck with his claw. "He didn't. I had them just in case."

The penguin raised his nonexistent brow again. "So you just had two promise bracelets sitting around, in my favorite colors, for him at any time?"

Red One chuckled as he began to skitter away again. "What can I say? I'm a romantic." He then left right as Francis rolled into the room.

Francis turned and watched Red One leave before looking curiously at Kowalski. "Nice chat?"

Kowalski shrugged with a smile. "I'm just trying to gauge who's stalking me more, you or him."

"Him...I don't have much time to take notes personally." He rolled closer. "But it's not like you haven't been keeping tabs on me either."

"Oh I know, I wasn't fussing. I just thought it was amusing." He laid his flippers on the table and gave him his full attention. "Anyway, you said there was another surprise?"

The dolphin nodded and took a seat in the opposite chair. "You'll see it once Red One returns."

"What about a hint?"

"Is the fact that we're in the kitchen not hint enough?"

"...No."

Francis gave him a look before booping his beak. "Patience, Mittens."

"What patience? Commandos don't train patience." He stuck his tongue out at him.

"Mmm, then I guess I know what _I_ need to work with you on."

Red One skittered back into the room. This time he was carrying a pie carefully in his claws which he then sat on the table between the two. "Bon anniversaire~" He nodded to Kowalski before skittering out again.

Kowalski's eyes lit up and he looked from the pie to Francis and back. "A PIE?"

"Should be blueberry." He nodded, sliding him a plate. "According to Red One's notes, you had made a fairly substantial hint about pie when discussing Hans's intentions awhile back."

"That was...a long...long time ago." He nodded slowly. "I did have a couple pie charts mentioning pie and...Poisoned pie." He now squinted at the pie.

Francis rolled his eye. "You don't seriously think it's a poisoned pie."

"No, I think if you had wanted me dead, you would have let the orca eat me." He took one of the kitchen knives and cut himself a slice. "But that being said...Why don't you take the first bite?"

"I will, but your lack of trust hurts me truly, Kowalski," he said, cutting himself a slice. "But I am willing to chalk it up to lingering Skipper-trained paranoia."

"Oh it certainly is, but better be a little paranoid than a...Boyfrenemies moment."

Francis just shook his head and took a bite. "There, you see? Non-lethal birthday blueberry pie."

Kowalski then took a bite and smiled. "It's good too."

"Mmm, but I see how it is. You'll trust me on an island, but on my sub you won't trust me with pie?"

"In my defense, it would be an excellent moment to kidnap me. You could slip a sedative into the pie and then tie me up and take me elsewhere. The team won't start to wonder about where I am until a day or two has passed past the date I was supposed to be back. It would have been strategic."

"Mittens, I'm not working right now. I'm not kidnapping you while we're on vacation together. That would just be rude, and I'm not rude. My mother raised me with manners, thank you."

Kowalski took another bite and chuckled. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I guess I'm not used to feeling this...Happy. I just was expecting something to go wrong."

Francis sighed and patted the penguin's head. "Well, you're just in luck today. Nothing else is going wrong today on my watch."

A small purr escaped Kowalski's beak, causing him to bashfully turn away with his pie. "Thank you, Francis...I've really enjoyed this weekend with you."

"Good." He grinned. "And maybe next weekend, maybe Saturday, you can come to my lair and we can work on those car plans?"

"Oh cod yes. I'm sure Skipper will approve of that since that'll be sooner that I'm no longer borrowing the coup." He smiled at him and finished off that slice of pie.


	19. Jacuzzi Blues

_**A.N.- The song snippet near the end is from "Everyday A Little Death" from The Count of Monte Cristo musical.** _

* * *

_**Chapter 1** **9:** **Jacuzzi Blues** _

A few days later, Blowhole was back at his own lair. After a long day of getting caught up on business and scheme progresses, he sighed with exhaustion as he rolled into a room in which there were few items besides a large hot tub tub. He shut the door behind himself as he rolled over and parked by the tub before sliding off his segway and into the steaming water with a soft splash. He swam one small lap around the perimeter of the tub before he positioned himself comfortably and pressed a button to turn on the bubble jets and a musical playlist. He then sunk down beneath the bubbles so that only his blowhole was above the water and shut his eye to rest.

However, before he could get a proper nap in, he heard the door open and so he raised his head, but he didn't bother to open his eye. He listened for a moment longer before tilting his head. "Parker?"

There was the soft slapping of his webbed feet across the floor, approaching the tub. "Yeah."

"Well get on the other side of the hot tub. You know I prefer looking at who I'm talking to."

"Francis, you don't even have your eye open."

"But I _can_ open it and I'd rather open it and not have to move to see you." He sighed, leaning his head back against the rim of the tub. "You're welcome to join me if you want." He cracked his eye open and looked at him.

"I might sit on the edge, not feeling the whole swimming thing right now."

Blowhole nodded, sliding over. "Fair enough."

Parker sat on the edge of the tub beside him and dangled his feet in the water. "Not bad...So what's up with you anyway?"

"I'm tired. I'm sore. I'm soaking."

"No really?" He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "You know what I meant."

Blowhole cracked a smirk, shutting his eye. "Vacationing with Kowalski was an adventure to put it simply." He stretched himself and lifted his tail just enough to show off his healing bite wound. "Had a run in with an orca on the way to visit Mother, and I took a couple good tumbles on the island." He plopped his tail back beneath the water.

Parker leaned away from the brief splash. "So the nerd's bad luck rubbed off on you?"

"Yeah, a little, but it wasn't that bad. Overall, I had a lot of fun actually…" He frowned thoughtfully. "More fun than I've honestly had in a long time."

"Sure, he's fun now, but how long do you think that's actually going to last, Francis?"

Blowhole turned and looked at him. "What do you mean by that?"

The platypus raised a brow. "You know exactly what I mean. Remember the last time you were attracted to an enemy penguin? How'd that go for you, eh?"

"Ugh, don't bring him up."

"And what about that...Raccoon?"

"If you're talking about Julien, he was a lemur." He sighed. "And no one expected him to be a double agent, alright?"

Parker rolled his eyes. "And what makes you think that Ace isn't playing you now, hmm? He could easily be using this relationship as a cover to get information on your newest plans."

Blowhole for a moment just stares at him with a deadpan expression. "You do remember I'm dating Kowalski, right? You have met him before, remember? Does that _sound_ like something he would do? No. That's what _I_ tried to do to him."

"I'm just saying, he's a smart guy. He could do it."

"He's not the type." He adjusted his position in the water and sunk a little into the bubbles. "Anyway, he and I are official now, so you better just get used to the idea of me dating him. I don't get what the problem is between the two of you anyway."

Parker's eyes widened for a second before he quickly recovered, leaning back on his arms. "Oh you know, just business and all that."

"Mmm." He nodded. "So what'd you want anyway? Or were you feeling social tonight?"

"Me? Social? Never." He snorted. "That last part you sent me for is sitting in bay 8."

Blowhole opened his eye again and squinted at him. "Don't tell me you're only here for me to sign your check."

Parker clicked his tongue and snapped a finger gun at him. "That's exactly what I came for, mate."

For a long moment he still squinted at him before sighing and sinking into the water. "I'll sign it when I'm done in here…" He watched the bubbly water for a moment as he listened to Parker get up beside him. "What happened to us, Parker?"

"What?"

"What happened to us? We used to hang out, you know...Be friends. Now we barely talk and the only times we do it's because you want your paycheck." He looked at him. "Are we friends, or have I been paying for that too?"

Parker stopped and cleared his throat. "Francis...You know I'm not a very…" He motioned with his paw with a sigh. "I like being alone. I like my privacy. I like being on the move and keeping busy."

"Well, yeah, I know, which is why you're a great agent. My best agent...And I know I'm more social that you are. I always have been, even at Seaville...But I miss when we did things together. Hell, Parker, even just a chat now and then would be nice. You could have a girlfriend now for all I know."

"...Yeah, I do."

Blowhole stared at him for a moment, carefully picking his next words. "How long?"

Parker shrugged as he crossed his arms. "Crossed paths with her on my last mission. Smart girl."

"Are you actually dating or just… 'business?'" He said with flipper quotes.

"Eh, still thinking about that." He scratched the back of his head. "She's some sort of agent herself, but we didn't talk about work."

Blowhole raised a brow. "If she ends up being a North Wind agent, I'm going to laugh."

"Yeah nah, I doubt it. She's too cool for that."

"Riiiiight." He grinned slightly. "Just don't draw the Wind's attention too much, okay? The peng-u-ins may be the ones handling me, but I would rather not have the North Wind back on my tail." He stretched. "Especially since I'm sure my relationship would stir up some questions and such."

"Nah yeah, I know." He rolled his eyes. "I watch my back just fine, Francis. There is no way that I am dating a North Wind agent. She's got to be a solo for hire."

"Then next time you see her, ask her what her price is. I have had a position open ever since Barry was hugged into turning over a new leaf." He scrunched up his rostrum.

Parker gave him a look. "You know I don't like working with the girls I date."

"Hey, I'm just offering."

"...But I'll think about what you said earlier. I still want my paycheck, but...Maybe I'll try to pop in a little more when I get the chance." He sighed.

Blowhole smiled slightly. "That's all I ask...Or else I might stop keeping sprinkles stocked up in the kitchen for you, since I only did that as a favor for my friend."

The platypus pointed at him, narrowing his eyes. "I know you're joking, Francis, but don't you even think about getting between me and my fairy bread, mate, alright?"

Blowhole cackled, shaking his head. "Go on, you little natural disaster. I'll sign your check by tonight."

"Alright, I'll see you around, Francis." He half-waved, waddling to the door before stopping and looking over his shoulder. "Just watch out for Ace's bad luck. Could be your downfall." He then walked out, closing the door behind himself.

Blowhole stared at the door for a moment before shaking his head and getting comfortable in the water again with a frustrated sigh. So much for getting a relaxing nap in between meetings. He shut his eye again, listening to the soothing rhythm of his _The Count of Monte Cristo_ playlist, humming along.

" _...Another day, another week  
__Another month, another year  
__Another day, another night  
__Until it's day again_

_"The sun has fled, I go to bed_  
_And scratch a line on the wall  
_ _Another day, where nothing changes at all-"_

The door opened and Red One skittered in. "Sorry to interrupt, Doc, but Red Two really needs you to sign that approval form or she's going to have to come up with something different. It's kinda time sensitive."

Blowhole groaned and sank completely beneath the water.


	20. Exam Blues

_**Chapter 20: Exam Blues** _

With a heavy sigh, Kowalski shut the lid of his laptop and leaned back into his chair with his flippers pressed against his eyes. For a long moment, he sat there in silence before slowly rubbing his flippers down his face and hopping down from his seat. He waddled across the lab and out the door, glancing around for Skipper. He spotted him in his bunk and went over to him.

"...Skip—" Kowalski paused. He was barely audible, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "Sir?"

Skipper opened an eye and glanced at him. "Yeah?"

"Oh, I didn't realize you were napping—"

"It's fine, just had my eyes closed. What's wrong?"

Kowalski swallowed and held his flippers behind his back. "I...I need to take the rest of today off, if I may."

He sat up and frowned at him. "Kowalski, you practically just got back from—"

"I know, sir, I know. I have a lot to catch up on still, and I promise it will get done but...I...I can't work on it today, sir. I'll get it worked on tomorrow, though. I'll even get up early, but I just...Not today." He swallowed again, blinking moist eyes.

Skipper narrowed his eyes at him, leaning back. "...Something wrong, soldier?"

"You...You wouldn't understand, sir." He sighed and forced a smile. "But I'll be better tomorrow."

"...Blowhole and you break up?"

"What? No! No, no, we're fine." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Just…" He took a deep breath. "I failed one of my exams."

Skipper looked at him a little softer. "Oh...And what's that mean for you? You got to uh, repeat that whatever or something?"

Kowalski shook his head. "No...No, I still passed the class. My grade going into the exam was flawless…"

"Then why'd you flunk it?"

The tall penguin winced and started pulling at the feathers of his other flipper. "I accidentally wrote all of my answers in Polish."

"What was wrong with that?"

"My class was in French. My professor just gave me a 0 for putting nonsense on a page." He looked at the floor, shaking his head. "I'm such an idiot. Why didn't I notice that when going over it?"

Skipper watched him for a moment before sighing and nodding. "Yeah, go ahead and take today off. But you better be on your game tomorrow, alright?"

Kowalski snapped a quick salute with another forced smile. "Thank you, sir. I will be." He then returned to his lab.

Skipper turned over in his bunk and tried to take his planned nap. However, after a few minutes he sighed, shaking his head and got up. He waddled over to the lab and quietly opened the door. "Hey, Kowal—" he started, but stopped the moment he poked his head into the room.

Cover pulled up and over his head and quietly shaking, Kowalski was laying on his makeshift cot of old notebooks.

For a moment, the flat-headed penguin could only stand there and watch him as it flashed through his memory the last time he saw Kowalski like this in his bunk. He then shook his head and spotted Kowalski's phone on charge at the workbench. Silently, Skipper reached over, plucked it from the cord and backed out of the room.

Shutting the door softly behind himself, Skipper started to look over the phone with a sigh. "Where the cod are the…" he grumbled before looking around for Private. "Private! Come 'ere."

Private looked up from where he was coloring near the tv. "Coming!" He slid over to Skipper with a smile. "Something I can help you with, sir?"

Skipper passed him the phone. "Figure out how to get this on. I need to make a phone call."

The younger penguin simply pressed the power button on the side of the phone. "Do you...Want me to dial it for you too, sir?"

"Sure."

Private glanced at him as he tapped the phone icon. "Are you going to tell me the number, sir?"

"Uh...I don't know his number."

"...Then how are you going to ring him?"

"I don't know, I figure Kowalski has it in there somewhere."

"Who are you trying to ring? I can check his contacts."

Skipper sighed. "Blowhole."

Private glanced at him again as tapped the starred contact and passed the phone back. "It should be ringing him."

"Thanks, that'll be all for now." He nodded, getting the phone back from him and waddling to the weapons closet. He held the phone up to his head with a sigh.

"Hey Mittens~"

Skipper made a face of disgust. "Cod, no."

"Oh. Skipper. What are you doing with Kowalski's phone?"

"He had your number. Made things easier." He shrugged. "Now I ain't calling you to chitchat, Blowhole. I wouldn't be calling you at all except my gut thinking this is the best idea, so you better not make me regret this."

"I'm listening."

Skipper rubbed the back of his neck. "Straight to the point, I'm concerned about Kowalski. He flunked some test and it hit him pretty hard or something, I don't know. I let him have the rest of today off, but…"

"Mmm...So what are you wanting me to do about it?"

"Well. You're his boyfriend or whatever now, right? You want to at least talk to him or something? Maybe cheer him up?"

"That's all I needed to hear. Yeah, I'll come over tonight."

"I'll meet you at the gate." He paused. "But you are absolutely not allowed to use our HQ door without a penguin other than Kowalski present, capiche?"

"Skipper, I signed your silly little contract, didn't I? That was rule number 7."

"Well, good. I'll see you tonight." He looked at the phone and pressed the end call button, shaking his head. "The things I'll do for my men…" he grumbled, waddling back to the lab to return the phone.

* * *

Kowalski sniffled in his cot, curled up in a little ball with his Penelope plush. Logically, he knew it was just a test. He knew he had answered everything right...Even if it was in the wrong language, but that didn't stop him from overthinking nor his feelings of insecurity from rising.

Maybe he really wasn't a genius. Maybe he was just an imposter subgenius...Or was he even a subgenius? Maybe he was just average intelligence and had been fraudulent this whole time. His constant failures and screw ups, that had to be it. He's just a little fraud, routinely overstepping his capabilities. Why hadn't Skipper fired him yet for not really being a genius and lying to him? After all, he did keep almost destroying the zoo with his inventions. That alone should be enough fodder for termination...Right?

He looked at his little purple dolphin and hugged her tighter with a sniff. He probably should come clean to Francis about being a fraud too. An evil genius wouldn't want to be with a wanna-be fake-genius.

"Knock knock."

Kowalski's teary eyes widened as he heard Francis's voice. He turned over. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" His eyes darted around the lab at the assorted equipment, plans, and materials just strewn about chaotically, except in the line of vision of his laptop.

"Hey hey, chill." The dolphin said, rolling in. There were a couple boxes of pizza balanced on the front of his Segway and he was also carrying a large bag. "I know what your lab looks like, no need to freak out."

"But it's a mess, and you're here seeing it—" He jumped up to try to spiff it up.

"Kowalski. No, it's fine." He managed to catch him by the flipper.

"But—" He looked at Francis and then sighed with a nod. "Okay...Wh...Why are you here? I wasn't expecting you."

"Shockingly enough, Skipper gave me an invite, so I thought I would surprise you." He paused and gently released his flipper. "But if you waaaaant to clean up something while I set up a surprise for you, see if you can move those old notebooks and boxes for a space large enough we can unroll this." He reached into his bag and pulled out a slender, rolled up foam mattress.

"Oh yeah! Just give me a minute." He nodded and set to, moving the blankets and pillows off of his notebooks and shoving them along to under a different workbench.

Meanwhile, Francis took out a box from the bag and rolled over to Kowalski's wall. He took a slender, electronic box from the package and a drill and began to mount the box to the wall. He then plugged it into the outlet below. He pressed the power button and a large blue rectangle was projected up onto the wall. He leaned back slightly and adjusted the box until the rectangle was lined up properly.

Kowalski unrolled the mattress once he had finished shoving boxes aside and looked over with a gasp. "What's that?"

"Well." Francis turned and grinned at him. "I knew bringing you a tv over would result in its inevitable demise in your lab, so instead I brought over one of my top series HD projector. It's small, and I can get you a protective casing for it, but it can serve the same purpose as a tv. We just have to sync it with your laptop or phone."

"Y...You mean that's for me to keep?" His eyes widened more.

"Yep. All yours." He lightly patted the box before rolling over, holding his flipper out to him for his phone.

Kowalski passed it to him, still staring at the projector with a growing grin.

Francis took a moment and synced the two devices. "So Skipper also mentioned you had had a kind of sucky day." He glanced at him.

"Oh…" His smile broke slightly. "Yeah...Got back my exam grades this morning...Failed my quantum theory exam because I was an idiot and answered with the wrong language." He huffed, shaking his head. "Still passed the class though at least...So I guess it's technically fine. And I will be fine just…"

"I hear ya." He nodded, easing himself down onto the bed with the box of pizza. "The lazy human could have put it through a translator site or something, seriously."

"I guess...Though the smarter thing would have been for me to write it in the right language instead of screwing up that bad." He plopped down by Francis. "Maybe Blue's right about that whole subgenius thing. Maybe I'm just a fraud and not even a genius at all."

Francis furrowed his brow for a moment before patting Kowalski's head. "I have the feeling if I told you that you're a genius right now that you wouldn't believe me...So instead, I'm just going to say, if you _are_ a fraud, you're such an impressive imposter because you have us all convinced that you're a genius except for yourself."

Kowalski blinked at that and slowly turned to look at him. "R-really?"

"Oh yeah, I totally think you're an actual genius. You'd have to be one to keep ruining my plans." He chuckled, still petting him.

"...Huh. I didn't think about that." He smiled a little.

"And your mistake is even genius, you know that? I mean, come on. How many penguins do you know are taking a class in French and even know Polish to write their answers in anyway?"

"Well, Polish is my best reading language, but...I guess...Not many." He furrowed his brow.

"Exactly. See? You're still a genius." He opened the box and took out a slice of pizza. "But you're going to be a genius without pizza if you don't get yourself a slice."

"You brought two whole pizzas, Francis."

"Technically three, but I gave one to your teammates as a peace offering." He shrugged.

Kowalski smiled a little and took a slice of shrimp and tuna pizza. "Well, thank you."

"So, what do you want to watch? What was that space show you said you liked again? Star Tacks?"

"Star Trek?"

"Yeah, that one." Francis nodded, turning on an episode and laid back on the mattress. He put his flipper around Kowalski and pulled him closer to his side. "Now you just lean back, have some pizza, watch the show, and feel better."

Kowalski nodded and leaned back against him as he nibbled his slice of pizza, watching his show. He had to admit, he was already feeling a lot better, and this was much more fun than just moping in bed. He glanced back at Francis with a growing smile. Not only did he have a boyfriend who cared about him enough to come by and try to cheer him up but...Skipper actually invited him over? Did this mean that Skipper was maybe accepting their relationship more?

Kowalski smiled wider and snuggled back to Francis. He could get used to this.


	21. Tea with Marlene

_**Chapter 21: Tea with Marlene** _

Kowalski knocked on the wall of the entrance to Marlene's cave. "Marlene, are you busy?"

"Uhhh, one sec, Kowalski!"

The penguin nodded and waited with his flippers held behind his back. After a moment, Marlene appeared around the corner.

"Sorry about that, just had to finish putting some stuff away. So what's up?"

"Oh nothing's really up. I just felt like it's been a little while since I last gave you an update on things and thought you might be interested."

"Oh! Yeah, come on in! Tell me all about it!" She moved out of his way. "I'll put on some tea and then I want to hear everything, alright?"

Kowalski waddled in with a large smile. He went over to one of her rock seats and sat down. "I think his and my relationship is starting to grow on Skipper."

"Oh?" She glanced over as she turned on an electric kettle.

"Yeah...Yesterday I was having one of my blue days, you know? Skipper let me take the day off and all, but then he actually called Francis to come to the HQ. It was completely unexpected, all of it."

Marlene poured the tea into two cups and brought them over. "That is pretty surprising."

Kowalski nodded, getting a cup from her. "All the times Skipper and I...Well...You know how we can be with each other." He sighed. "Sometimes I have felt like he doesn't care much about me anymore...Then he does little things like this and I'm never expecting it."

"Now that sounds like Skipper." She nodded, sitting down. "And you know he does care, he just expresses it in an...Emotionally constipated fashion."

He chuckled slightly at that. "Yeah…" He smiled a little dreamily. "But I'm glad he and Francis seem to be trying to get along, at least a little. So far Francis has been really good to me and I just...I think I want to keep him."

"Didn't he take you on vacation recently?"

Kowalski nodded, sipping his tea. "I went with him to meet his Mother for Thanksgiving, then for my birthday we went treasure hunting." He held out his flipper to show off his bracelet. "He gave me this."

"Awww! A promise bracelet, cute!" She smiled at him. "Sounds like he likes you, too. What did his family think of you?"

"Well...Doris was cordial. I think she approves now, but it's still weird to her...And that's quite valid." He sipped his tea again, thinking. "I think Lois liked me too. She's a really sweet lady...I'd be open to use visiting her more than just once a year if Francis wanted to see her more."

Marlene nodded for him to continue.

"Yesterday when Francis came by with pizza, he also brought a new projector over to my lab and set it up. He brought a floor mattress over too, I figure because my journals weren't really suitable for a dolphin to lay on, but he left it there last night...Granted, I was asleep on it, so he may have just not wanted to take it back at that moment." He rambled with a sideways nod.

"So let me get this straight. He's given you two laptops, a projector, a bracelet, a mattress, and took you on a vacation?" She looked at him from over her tea cup. "Are you sure you don't have a sugar dolphin?"

Kowalski choked on his tea. "WHAT?" He squeaked. "NO. NO, Francis and I are not like THAT. First of all, we are not that— _No_. There's barely been kissing, okay? Second of all, he's not that much older than me. Just three years." He huffed, shaking his head and smoothing his feathers down.

Marlene giggled and patted his flipper. "I'm just teasing you."

"Heh…" He looked thoughtful for a moment. "It's not...It's not a bad thing that he kind of spoils me, right? Like...That isn't something with ulterior motives, right?"

"Nah, I wouldn't think so." She shook her head. "I mean, not unless he's been trying to pull moves on you or use his gifts to try to sway you to join him."

Kowalski also shook his head. "No, he hasn't done anything like that that I've noticed."

"Then that may just be how he expresses his feelings, Kowalski." She smiled at him. "Some animals enjoy bringing gifts to those they care about."

"He does seem to like that...I remember when he gave me that first laptop and I tried not to accept it. That did sort of bother him." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But I'm starting to get used to it— _Don't get me wrong_ , I do enjoy getting gifts, it's just not something I'm as familiar with."

"Oh I know what you mean."

"Like...Even for Christmas, between us guys, we just wrap a few fish and call those presents."

"...Wow, that's…You boys really know how to give presents, huh?"

Kowalski gave her a look.

"Speaking of Christmas, are you going to invite him to Kidsmas this year?"

"I...I don't know. I hadn't thought about it yet." He sipped his tea thoughtfully. "I don't even know if he likes kids or anything."

"It could be a good way to find out? I mean...I am right in remembering that you like kids, right?"

"Well, yeah, I do and would like to have some of my own one day...Maybe." He set his tea down with a sigh. "But if he's not interested, I think I'd be alright not being a parent...I mean, he's nearly forty anyway. He probably has no interest-"

Marlene tapped his flipper gently. "Or instead of overthinking on assumptions, why don't you just ask him?"

Kowalski glanced at her. "Remember when I explained Schrödinger's cat to you?"

"Vaguely."

"Well, like the cat both being dead and alive until it's checked, until I ask him, he both likes and dislikes the idea of kids...And I'm nervous that he likely dislikes them."

"Yeah, but that's a pretty big thing to be unsure about, and if it's something you really want one day, it might be worth at least gauging his interest, you know? Not saying you two are going to get serious anytime soon, but...It wouldn't be worth the relationship turmoil if you two can't agree on that, would it?"

"...Yeah." He sighed and picked up his tea for another sip. He then frowned slightly. "Marlene, you really have helped me a lot with Francis...Is there anyway I could possibly return the favor?"

Now it was Marlene's turn to choke on her tea. "...Huh?" She sputtered.

"You know..I know my last Love-u-Lator didn't do you any favors, but I was just wondering if maybe there was anyone you were interested in? Maybe I could help try to set the two of you up?" He smiled. "I can be an excellent wingman...well, flipperman?"

"Hah well...Thank you, but I'm fine really." She awkwardly laughed.

Kowalski raised a nonexistent brow. "Well, if you change your mind, the offer stands. Even if you just want to ramble on about it without the set up. You know I can keep a secret."

Marlene bit her lip and then nodded a little. "I might tell you about him, but I don't want you to act on it, alright? Can I get your word on that? Because it's complicated enough as it is."

"Alright, you have my word. No actions, only listening." He held up his flipper with his pledge.

She set her tea down and cleared her throat, looking away. "So...You do know him, and he and I have been friends for awhile, which is part of why it's complicated. I like my friendship with him and don't want to potentially hurt that...But I would be open to the possibility of him and me testing out being a little more than friends if he was open to the idea." She smoothed down her fur. "Only issue is, if I even tried to tell him that, I'm not sure how he would react. He seems...Kind of skittish of relationships."

"I know I already said no actions but...I could hint to him for you?"

Marlene shook her head with a sigh. "No. I'm not ready for that yet. Maybe one day, but not yet."

"Does your bachelor have a name?"

"Not one I'm ready to tell you." She poked his beak with a chuckle. "I'm afraid that's all the Marlene gossip you're getting today."

Kowalski playfully scowled, but then chuckled. "Understandable." He finished his tea and stood up. "I probably need to get going before it's penguin feeding time. I'll think about what you suggested about Francis."

Marlene nodded, standing up to walk him out. "Good! I'm sure it'll go better than you're worried about."


	22. A Day Together - Part 1

_**Chapter 22: A Day Together - Part 1** _

Blowhole sipped his coffee, shivering slightly as he rolled over to a remote and turned up the heat in his lab. "I just had to decide to be here for the winter…Remind me why I didn't schedule my next scheme for spring."

"Uh…" Red One flipped through his notes. "You uh...Thought it would catch the penguins off-guard?"

"...Right." He sighed, taking another sip.

The lobster looked up at him. "You...Do want to continue with this plan, right, Doc?"

"No, of course, I do." He nodded. "I already have big plans for my next lair, anyway. What's on my agenda for today?"

"Kowalski."

Blowhole squinted down at him. "What?"

"Kowalski's on the agenda."

"What the crabcakes does that even mean, Red One?" He put his flipper to his hip.

Red One shrugged. "I wrote down what you told me to, Doc. You said you'd know what it meant." He flipped the page. "You had me clear the day and write just Kowalski on your schedule while Red Two and Three handle oversight of scheme development today."

"...What's today again?"

"Saturday."

Blowhole choked on his coffee with a cough. "Saturday? Already?" He grabbed his phone off the charger to double check. "HOW?"

"It's been a busy week. We made major headway on Project Big Apple."

The dolphin quickly finished his coffee. "Crabcakes. I need to get ready. Kowalski's coming for the day. That's what I meant by that." He paused. "You...OH! Make sure the materials I ordered for his car are brought to my larger lab. You know the ones, right?" He started to roll for the door.

Red One skittered after him. "You mean the ones you put that 'For Kowalski' label on?"

"Yeah, those."

"On it, Doc."

Blowhole nodded as he rolled back to his private quarters. Alright, this was just a stay at home date. Nothing fancy.

He rolled over to his vanity. There he reached over for the moisturizer which he pumped into his other flipper and rubbed onto his flippers and face. As he did so, he located his cover-up. He slipped off his robotic eye-piece and gently applied it over his scar, not bothering to look at himself as he does so. By now, he's done this so many times, he didn't have to look to know that it's covered. He then slipped his eyepiece back on and then looked at himself and smirked.

Yep. That'll do.

Blowhole then checked the time with a sigh. Admittedly, he probably didn't have to rush...After all, Kowalski was supposed to be coming via the subway this time, so it was going to take him a little longer anyway. He looked at himself again in the mirror.

Perhaps...Perhaps the cover up wasn't actually all that necessary? After all, Kowalski knew plenty about his scar already from their countless encounters in the past when they had thwarted his schemes. What was he really trying to hide?...What _did_ he have to hide?

Blowhole reached up, lifting his eyepiece slightly, and wiped off the cover up. He looked at himself in the mirror again and huffed slightly. If he was honest with himself, there really wasn't much difference with or without the cover up...But it felt different, looking at himself without it. Even with the eyepiece hiding most of it, the parts he could see felt magnified and exposed. He turned away with a sigh and rolled out from the room.

On his way to the lab, he stopped when he heard the doorbell and made a u-turn. He rolled to the door and opened it.

"Morning, sorry I'm a little late." Kowalski smiled from the doorway.

"Nah, you're right on time." He opened the door further for the penguin to waddle in. "Are you ready to give this co-inventing thing a try?"

"I've been looking forward to it all week." He chuckled before holding up his flipper with a single red rose and a bashful smile.

Blowhole looked at it with a raised brow before smirking softly and leaning down to him. "Mittens, I didn't realize you were a little Romeo." He gently took the rose from his flipper and glanced it over. "It's a nice tango rose." He slyly looked at him. "Maybe we'll give it a dance later, mmh?"

Kowalski's feathers ruffled and he looked away.

"I'll take that as a yes." He chuckled, leaning back up away from him. "Come along, Mittens. I had Red One prepare our materials for us already."

* * *

"Did you see where that lug nut rolled off to?" Kowalski asked, kneeling down and peering under the frame of the small car they had so far assembled.

"Uhhhh, not really. Do you want another one?"

"Oh, yeah, that works." He sat back on his heels.

Blowhole got one from a drawer and dropped it into his flipper. "Try to keep a hold on this one, eh?"

The penguin stuck his tongue out at him before slipping it onto a bolt on the wheel rim. He then picked up a wrench and tightened it on. "You know...It's been a little quiet."

"Want me to turn on some music?"

"...That wouldn't bother you, right?"

"Nope, just give me a moment. Any requests?" He rolled over to his computer and looked over at him.

"Maybe Journey or something? I'm not really picky."

Blowhole nodded, clicking a few things before rolling back over. "How does a mix of Journey and like bands and some musicals sound?"

"Great." He smiled before turning his attention back to the car.

"So Jan…" The dolphin rolled over and slipped off into the floor next to him.

Kowalski looked up.

"Have you…" he paused, considering his words carefully. "Have you considered seeing a therapist before?"

"Uh—" His flipper slipped on the wrench. "Therapist? No...Can't say I have. I wasn't aware that there were therapists for animals, you know besides those television cat or dog whisperers?"

Blowhole rolled his eye. "I'm not talking about humans. There are animals who perform therapy for other animals."

"Then uh...No. It hasn't ever crossed my mind...Why?"

"Well...I just was thinking after your episode last week that perhaps therapy would be helpful for you." He picked up another part of the car and carefully started to screw it into place. "I went to one for a couple years when I was taking my classes...It really did help me with some of my past trauma with Seaville."

"Francis, I...I'm not sure I can. I know too many classified things. I might accidentally say something I really shouldn't." He sat back on the ground, still looking at him. "And Skipper...I hardly think he would approve."

"I'm not asking Skipper to go to therapy, I'm asking you if you would consider attending just one session. I'll even go with you if it would make you feel more comfortable." He looked back at him. "From what I remember from my psychology classes, you certainly have at least signs of both high anxiety, depression, and maybe ADHD and I think it could really help you."

"I...I don't know, Francis." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away.

"Skipper and I both are concerned about you."

Kowalski slowly met his eyes again.

"He and I had our little chat about you last week before I dropped in on you. I think if I explained to him how it might help you, I could get him on board with it too."

"I'll...I'll think about it." He nodded slowly, but then more firmly as though reassuring himself that he would think about it.

Blowhole nodded, picking up another part. "And while we're on the subject of things that would help you...Ever had your vision checked?"

"No, the vet doesn't usually check that." He returned to bolting the wheel rim into place.

"Then I'm going to make you an appointment for that too."

Kowalski looked at him again, almost confused. "...Why?"

"Because I can." He smirked at him slightly. "And it's obvious that the North Wind isn't making an effort towards extending such appointments your way."

"...They do vision appointments?"

"And therapy. They haven't told you peng-u-ins about those perks?" He tilted his head.

Kowalski slowly shook his head. "No…" He sighed. "But I'm not surprised. After they absorbed the old penguins intelligence agency under their management, they kind of forgot we exist." He slid down to the next wheel to work on bolting it on. "But how do you know about those?"

"Well...I guess you'd have to find this out sooner or later." He sighed. "You peng-u-ins aren't my only enemies. You're my most entertaining foes, my favorite arch rivals...But I do on occasion get a North Wind agent on my tail. However, they're absolute morons, whining about their appointments they're missing because they fell into my traps, blah blah blah, as if I care." He rolled his eye. "Most of them I just catapult out of my lair since I can. More entertaining seeing them fly than trying to banter with them, you know?"

The penguin couldn't help but smile and shake his head at that. "You are horrible."

"Ahhh, but I see that grin. You agree with me."

"I will admit...Most of the North Wind agents I've had to tolerate...Yeah, I'd love to watch them get launched. I love a good catapulting."

"But of course, who doesn't?"

Kowalski chuckled, tightening down the bolt. For a long moment things were quiet again as both of them concentrated on the car assembly. Finally, Kowalski broke the quiet again.

"Francis?"

"Hmm?"

"So...I have a question for you that...Well...It's one of those kind of important to me and I need to know kind of things."

"I'm listening." Blowhole looked at him.

"Francis...What do you think about children—in general, of course." He chuckled sheepishly. "Not like any would be in the picture any time soon, I just, you know...Before we get any sort of serious, it's something I'd like to know."

"Uh…" The dolphin only stared at him, with his mouth slightly open in surprise. His mind was blank. Of all the questions he could have predicted Kowalski to ask...This was not one of them. "I uh...Haven't thought much about them?" he replied slowly.

Kowalski nodded and smiled slightly. "I'm good with that answer, thank you."

However, Blowhole still stared at him. "...Do...Do you have an opinion on them?"

"Yes…" His smile turned sheepish. "I...I wouldn't mind having one or two to raise one day in the way off future. They're adorable." He looked down at the car. "But...I also would be okay if I didn't. I mean...We're almost middle aged as it is, and children do require a lot of time and effort. I guess I just...I wanted to make sure you didn't hate being around kids or something."

"I...I don't hate kids." His voice though was hesitant. "I just...I haven't been around many to form much of an opinion. And well...Dolphins don't really have a great track record at being fathers."

"Well...If we did get serious and adopt children or something, you wouldn't have to do much besides be present in their lives. Penguin fathers handle a lot of the childcare and that is one instinct I _know_ I have, so you wouldn't have to worry about that." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But like I said, I'm only speaking theoreticals."

Blowhole nodded slowly, looking down at the car with his brow furrowed in thought. "As I said, I haven't had enough experiences with children to form an opinion...But I will take your theoreticals under consideration."

"Would you...Would it interest you to build your experiences?"

"What do you mean?" He looked across at him again.

Kowalski smoothed down his greasy feathers, looking only at the car before him. "Coming up soon is the zoo's annual Kidsmas celebration that we put on for the young animals of Central Park. If you'd like to come help out with it...I would really enjoy having you there." He smiled slightly at him.

Blowhole's eye widened slightly. "U h….When...When is it?"

"We set up for it Christmas Eve night and let them into the zoo around midnight for the festivities." He looked back down at the car. "But it's completely fine, too, if you can't or don't want to come."

For a long moment the dolphin was silent as he thought this over. Finally, he took a long, deep breath. "I'll think about this too and check my schedule. I'm not...I'm not sure if it really would be a good idea for me to come, knowing my history with your zoo neighbors, but...I will think about it."

"I understand, and that's all I ask." Kowalski smiled and waddled around the car to him. He then gently pecked his cheek.

Blowhole glanced down at him, almost amused. "I feel like that was an attempt at bribery."

"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. You have no proof either way." Kowalski chuckled, selecting another tool from Blowhole's toolbox.


	23. A Day Together - Part 2

_**Chapter 23: A Day together: Part 2** _

A few hours later, the two stepped back and looked at their creation with tilted heads. They looked together at the plans and then back at the car.

"Okay, something isn't right here." Francis grumbled.

Kowalski pulled down on the plans so that he could see them better. "It's the wheels. I _told you_ they were not all the same size."

"Well they were supposed to be! I told Red One to order a set of four identical wheels. They look the same size to me."

"Because you lack depth perception, Francis."

Francis narrowed his eye at him. "Careful, Kowalski."

"I'm being honest. I've had enough black eyes to know that only having one working eye makes it hard to judge size and depth." He glanced up at him. "But I think it's just the front right wheel and the back left are bigger. If we switch the right wheels, it'll balance out." He picked up a wrench.

"Well if you could tell they were difference sizes, why didn't you put them on like that already? Hmm, Mr. Depth Perception?"

"Because I put on what you rolled to me. Putting them on one by one it's nearly impossible to judge their sizes." He shrugged, taking off the front wheel. "Like I said, they're close in size.."

"Yeah, well, I think that's not the only thing wrong here. Something else is fishy." He grumbled and looked over their plans again with a frown.

Kowalski rolled his eyes as he swapped out the wheels. "I think it'll look fine once it's even."

"Wait. You wanted it to be an American model, right?"

"Huh?" He raised his head on the other side of the car.

"Steering wheel's on the right, not the left."

Kowalski slowly turned and looked at the car dashboard. "Oh yeah...That's going to be confusing."

Francis waved him off. "I know how to fix that. We'll swap out the steering mechanism completely to something way cooler."

"Like what?"

The dolphin then grinned at him. "Think spy cars."

Kowalski stared at him as he considered this for a long moment before looking at the dashboard again. "You mean like...Push a button and the steering can move to the passenger seat from the driver's?"

"Bingo." He flipper gunned him. "Won't take long to switch out. If you have your shrink ray, we can use one of the spare parts for my own cars for it."

"Oh yeah!" He took out his plastic clipboard from his feet, opened it, and took out his shrink ray. "I brought it just in case."

"Excellent. Let's fix this up then we can go try it out."

* * *

About an hour later, the two rolled out from the lair and into the dark amusement park. Francis was on his segway like always, and Kowalski was in his new car. Resting on Francis's segway is a little bluetooth controller that he was using to drive Kowalski.

"I could drive it myself, you know." Kowalski looked up at him with his flippers crossed and an unimpressed expression.

"Oh keep your feathers on. You'll get to try driving it when we get to the go-kart track. I don't want to risk you wrecking it into a ride or game first."

"I WOULDN'T WRECK IT! I'M A GOOD DRIVER!"

Francis glanced down at him. "I've seen how you peng-u-ins drive, Kowalski. I'm afraid I do not believe you at this point."

Kowalski scowled, leaning back into his seat. At least the seating was pretty comfy and he had plenty of legroom...But his driving being judged based off of Rico's was rustling his feathers. He glared back up at the dolphin before taking a deep breath and sighing. Perhaps Francis driving it there wasn't terrible. He did, after all, know where they were going while he did not. He was just trying to be helpful...In an infuriating way.

Patient. He needed to be patient.

"While I understand your concerns about Rico's driving, Francis, it would be nice if you didn't assume my driving skills based on another penguin's." He grumbled.

The dolphin stopped and looked down at him. "...I'm not just judging off of Rico's reckless driving record. I'm also factoring in the variable of your bad luck." He paused. "However, I apologize that I offended you. I just don't want you to injure this expensive piece of equipment so quickly."

Kowalski sighed again and nodded. "...I suppose that would be my luck, wouldn't it?"

"Mmhmm. It'll be safer for you to test on the track where you have room for malfunctions to occur without being in such close quarters with large, solid objects."

"I suppose it is the safest idea if you continue what you're doing." He sighed and relaxed his flippers with impatient acceptance.

After what felt like eons, Francis steered Kowalski's car onto the go-kart track in a center lane. He then looked down at him. "Okay on the count of three I'm switching the vehicle to self-control. Are you ready?"

Kowalski sat up and took a hold of the steering wheel with a nod. "Beyond ready."

"Okay. Three...Two…" He flipped a switch and rolled back a few feet.

"And off we go!" The penguin pressed down on the gas and the car shot backwards very quickly.

Francis's eyes widened slightly as he reached for the controller again, but stopped as he saw Kowalski put on the breaks. "What happened?!"

Kowalski checked the gear-shift. "Well, I'm in drive and it went in reverse. Obviously, I went backwards."

"You don't say." The dolphin rolled his eye. "Well, try putting it in reverse and see what happens. You still need to check the steering as well."

"Right, right…" He changed gears and again pressed the gas. This time the little car shot forward. Kowalski grinned to himself as he sped off, carefully navigating the curves. His flipper danced over the nitro boost setting, thinking of testing it out, but then returned to the wheel. Perhaps if the car already was having a gear-shift issue, testing nitro was not a good idea. Instead he completed the circuit and stopped in front of Francis.

"So?"

"It's a really smooth ride." He nods. "Steering works like a charm."

Francis nodded and leaned down. "Sit back a moment."

Kowalski leaned back and watched as the dolphin looked at the gear shift. He then swallowed slightly when he realized how close the dolphin was and looked away.

"Jan. I think the car has an ID-10-T error." He then purred, turning towards him.

"ID-10-T- _Francis._ " He scowled at him. "I did not make an idiot error. I know how to work a car."

"Then explain how you are currently in drive when you thought you were in drive earlier?"

"What?" Kowalski furrowed his brows and ducked under the dolphin to see for himself. Honestly...He couldn't see for himself even still. The white letters along the shift were smudgy...So it could be possible what he thought was a D earlier was actually an R. "...Ah."

"You can't see a difference, can you?"

The penguin leaned back with a defeated sigh and shook his head. "They're smudges."

Francis gently lifted his beak with his flipper to look at him. "I'm making you an eye appointment for this week. You need to be able to see clearly. Had I let you drive yourself here, you could have wrecked because you couldn't read the gear-shift."

"...Yeah...I guess." He sighs, still avoiding eye-contact. The dolphin did make a good point after all.

"So for now just keep in mind until you get glasses. Park is blur one, reverse is blurr two, and drive is blur four."

"And the other two?"

"Three is neutral and five is for snow."

Kowalski nodded with a sigh. "Well...Thank you."

The dolphin looked at him for a moment before rolling his eye and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "If you want, you can park and we can hack into a few arcade games before you go back."

"...Why do I get the feeling you've done that before?"

"Why else do you think I keep purchasing real estate that was an amusement park, or build under one?" He chuckled, leaning away. "It makes for an excellent cover, but of course I hack the games and rides for my own leisure."

Kowalski pondered this momentarily. Part of him felt like this was a bad idea. After all, it was technically trespassing and perhaps even stealing, because he was nearly certain Francis would not be paying for the games….But at the same time, they would only be playing games. That wouldn't hurt anyone, just perhaps a few high scores. Not like they could be arrested if they were caught anyway- _Then again_ , they are in New Jersey, if they were caught they could be taken to Hoboken Zoo-

Francis booped his beak then, breaking his train of thought. "So...Amusement park fun or are you leaving?"

"Amusement park-" The response rolled off his tongue before he had a chance to think more about it.

"Excellent choice." He smiled, picking Kowalski up from the small car. "Then let's go play some games, shall we?"


End file.
